Dreams and Hope

I like the thought behind this quote because of the impossibilities Christopher Reeve faced in final years. He lived longer than most do with a spinal cord injury of that type. He constantly defied the Docs who declared a level of functioning over him by going above and beyond what they expected of him. Even in his condition he managed numerous public appearances to advocate for research and for his foundation.

I have been thinking a lot about my Dad and his role in my life. Perhaps I am getting nostalgic because of my Mom's Boyfriend. Granted my Dad has been gone for almost 7 years now but seeing my Mom dating first hand is a little rough. I see how many phone calls she gets from him, how many dances they attend together and the dinner dates. They are seeing each other at least 3-4 times a week if not more. Yes it gets her out of my hair for a while and she isn't criticizing me as much but I still worry about her. I think between it-chicks blog and mine it is well established that our Mom is...well...off her rocker and out of touch with reality a great deal of the time. I have met this man numerous times but I have to wonder what his intentions are about. I know he knew my parents while my Dad was alive and that my mom didn't like him even as an acquaintance then. When I joked about her getting married to him she showed me an article in the paper about children who purchase the parents homes and the growing trend it is! I haven't joked since then about it.

Maybe I'm nostalgic because of the divorce and the lack of children I have here on earth. I am checking on the different avenues open to me in the form of adoptions and being a single parent. I do know this for sure: when God provides me with children I will do things differently than my parents. I think they did the best they could given there life experiences. There combined families included alcoholic parents, overbearing parents, overbearing siblings, depression, suicide, medical abnormalities to numerous to list and much more in the family histories. They never sought professional help because "you just didn't do that". I think this might be why my Mom is fighting the memory loss testing. I know everyone says they will do things differently but I will. I will never say to my child, "Pull your head out of your a$$." in a fit of anger. I will never say, "The reason we had children is so that they could do the chores and keep the house clean." They meant it not as joke but as a way of life for us. Maybe that is why I took it so personally when I did my best with the house and Big Red still said it wasn't good enough.

I keep going back to Romans 15:13

13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I still have hope and no one can take that away from me. It reminds me of the movie Shawshank Redemption. I have always watched the movie with a language filter so I don't remember all the swearing in some of these quotes but I do remember the conversations between Andy Dufresne and Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding about hope.

Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.
[On Red's harmonica playing.]
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget. Forget that there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's a - there's a - there's something inside that's yours, that they can't touch.
Red: [narrating] I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.
Red: [reading a note left by Andy] Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.
Andy: Get busy living, or get busy dying. (speaking as to what attitude one has in prison)
Red: [narrating] I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

These where not all one conversation but the progression throughout the movie as slowly Red begins to understand that hope is a good thing.

Christopher Reeve had hope too.

I have hope and no circumstance , situation or person will ever take that away from me. My hope comes from God alone and not things of this earth. Do you have hope? Where is your trust placed?

To quote Andy, "Get busy living, or get busy dying."