Thursday, March 02, 2006

Shocked

I am having an off day to say the least. I don't know why I am shocked by this. It comes with the territory of going through a divorce. It seems to me that everytime I go through a DivorceCare class God has a way of letting me live it out and walk though that subject for the next several weeks. Unfortunately I am still cycling in and out of anger and the utter disappointment of the loss of my marriage. I have discovered that I have lost much more than I realized initially. I have lost my friend and husband but I have lost my helpmate, my confident, my main support system (financially and emotionally), my cook, my warmth at night, my dreams and so much more. Not that Big Red was my sole source of those things but we had "become one" and fused our lives together for what I thought would be forever. I finally became vunerable to someone and this is the result.

Now I must grieve my losses and set about establishing new goals and dreams for myself. I do not know how people can go through this without God. If I didn't have Him to lean on I know I would be even more of a mess.

We are starting the process of seperating the bills and things on Friday. We are starting with the cell phones. It should be interesting... Posted by Picasa

2 comments:

Patty said...

I got divorced in 1986, and can relate to what you are feeling today. Because of the way my life was structured at the time, I did most of my crying when I was alone in the car. One (especially crappy)day I was driving and feeling really really sorry for myself when suddenly the words to the poem "Footprints in the sand" started going through my head. The peace that came over me is un-describable, and from that moment on things got better.

Hang in there, and don't be surprised if God uses your divorce experience to help others. After going through my divorce, I seemed to attract women going though a divorce in need of a listening ear.

God's Blessings upon you.

Laura said...

Isn't it amazing how God works with/in us? I am praying for you during this difficult time. You know we're here for you!