I think that as a culture we tend to idealize marriage in our minds. We are taught from a very young age that our prince will come. That he will come and sweep us off our feet so that we can ride off into the sunset.
I think we are doing young girls a disservice by perpetuating this myth among others.
I was raised to believe that you stay married no matter what happens because that is the way that God designed it. But I believe that if your prince turns out to be a toad that can't keep his tadpoles at home then you seek Godly counsel to find your next step.
Marriage takes work. It is hard but the rewards of a successful marriage far outweigh the pains of growing it. The problem is that it takes two people to work on it. One person can't save a marriage.
I would love to make my marriage work but not if he can't be faithful, not if he can't make that simple effort toward rebuilding the trust that he broke, not if he's not willing to do the work and not if he is going to continue to blame his choice of adultery on my housekeeping skills.
I take responsibility for my part in the failure of my marriage but I will not take responsibility for his choices, for his relationships with other women or his extracurricular activities...or his choice to continue.
I believe we need to educate young people that marriage is hard work. That it is a huge commitment and that no prince charming really exists. Maybe if we stop perpetuating the myth that marriage is like playing house then the divorce rate might go down.
Maybe I shouldn't blog when I'm so frustrated with his lack of effort and his "stories" to other people at how hard he is trying to save the marriage and how he doesn't want the divorce.
Whatever...
I know what I have done and how I have acted throughout this whole marriage and I know eventually the truth will come out as he will not be able to keep up the facade forever.
2 comments:
Boy! Do I know about stories that can be told. My first marriage dissolved when I discovered his affair, and he refused to "give her up" to focus on us. His mother kept asking me what had happen, and out of respect for him, and their relationship, I choose to say "You need to discuss that with your son." Imagine how I felt several months later when it came out that he had told his mother that I was the one having an affair not him. Do you think she still believed him when he married his secretary two months after our divorce was final? The truth has a way of coming out, continue to live your life with your head held high, your eyes on the Lord.
I think just about any woman would tell you that there is NO SUCH THING! Unfortunately.
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