The Calm know as "the peace that passes all understanding"

I'm a little calmer today in some aspects. I can honestly that God has come in and eased my fears, calmed my spirit and helped me to refocus.

All I'm really going to say right now about the phone call that I received is this...It has been made apparent to me that this act of adultery was not an isolated event and based on the information I have...(deep breath)...there have been more than a few "friends" in Big Red's life during our 7 year relationship.

I have had one of those moments that I call a "puzzle piece" moment. It is when someone gives you information that you didn't know you were even missing at the time. BUT when you have the information it fills in SO MANY incomplete thoughts or confusing situations. It is like receiving the puzzle piece you didn't know that you didn't have until you have it and then the picture is all of a sudden extremely clear to you. With the information so many questions have been answered. The signs were there but I didn't see them because I thought I could trust Big Red. I dismissed a lot of items because of my trust issues from the past. I thought I was "reading too much into it." I guess I wasn't after all.

Needless to say it is over. I will be having a meeting later this week with a pastor to discuss how to tell Big Red and basically come up with a "game plan" so that this can be handled in a mature manner (at least by me). I already know that because of his temper that I will not be telling him alone. The Pastor and I have already discussed that there needs to be another couple present. I will keep everyone updated as I know more...

God is in control. Bottom line. God will handle all this in His time.