Be warned now...

I received this nice little forward not too long ago and I find that it applies today more than ever. Not only is my entire arm swollen from the earlier no water during a fast my butt...like that will ever happen again if you are sticking me with a needle.... "incident" this week but now I have the dreaded cramps!

So here is my hormonal opinionated email someone sent me....of course it was from another female...

Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantyliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

-Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

-Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously, the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products... Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol. Printing out s**t advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the s**t in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone In the store. The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of purchase. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your a**. Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!

Ovarily Yours,

Miss PMS

**** OK as one of my kind readers has brought to my attention Always slogan is "Have a Happy Period." Are these people nuts!? so I started checking out some of the other slogans and saying taken off their Web pages for feminine hygiene products:

Tampax Pearl- Once there was plastic but now there's Pearl... I'm not really thinking of jewelry at that moment.

Playtex Tampons- Making your life better everyday. The page speaks of confidence and comfort?

Stayfree- Live life. Stay free.

I did happen to find this on You tube and although a bit tacky I love it nonetheless....