Dictionary for arguements

For the male members of society I have included this handy guide for you...I thought of running this off for my husband but would it really matter at this point...We have actually moved beyond this...toward real communication but that is when he chooses to talk to me...tell me again why HE is mad at me....

Dictionary for arguing with women
>
> 1. "Fine"
> This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they
> feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It
> means that you should be quiet. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how
> she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

> 2. "Five minutes"
> This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
> football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so
> women feel that it's an even trade.
>
> 3. "Nothing"
> "Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes.
> "Nothing" is Usually used to describe the feeling a woman has
of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last
"Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
>
> 4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
> This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for
permission, the result will be the woman will get upset
over "Nothing" and you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion
that will end with the word "Fine."
>
> 5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
> This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or
"do what you want because I don't care." You will get a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in
about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
>
> 6. "Loud Sigh"
> This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders
why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you over "Nothing."
>
> 7. "Soft Sigh"
> Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the few things that some men actually understand.
It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not
move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last
for, "Five Minutes."
>
> 8."That's Okay"
> This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
> say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long
> and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you
> have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in
> conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had
> time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
>
> 9."Please Do"
> This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving
you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done.
In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble.
If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
>
> 10. "Thanks"
> The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden
> Meaning. Just say, "you're welcome."
>
> 11. "Thanks A Lot"
> Dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A
> Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually
followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt
her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong
after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
>