I just ran across another blog at captivatingbookstudy.blogspot.com (wish I knew how to do links). I have heard many good things about this book and now I'm determined to get it, read it and learn it. I do want to be a princess, I know I am a princess in God's eyes but I wish Big Red felt the same way about me. Don't get me wrong I'm trying to save this marriage and I'm listening to God in this matter but it would be SOOOO NICE if my husband would treat me like the center of his world instead of finding myself researching the path(s) of his possible new instances of Adultery or watching him blame me for everything that has gone wrong in the marriage while he takes no responsibility. I just keep going back to the Integrity posting from Monday...
For those of you wondering what happened in the "Class" on Wednesday...Big Red decided he didn't want to meet with the other couple for the class because the man of the 2 would be out of town on business. I think he is just dragging his feet again because he doesn't want to face what he said about forgiveness or deal with it being the last class AKA "decision night".
The thing I struggle with is that I made a vow before God when I married this man. Whether Big Red chooses to follow through on those vows and promises is his responsibility. Will God be angry if I break this vow because of Big Red's unfaithfulness? Will He be disappointed that I gave up? I want to line up with God on this no matter what and I know I've tried and I know that God released me at one point but the VOW thing is stuck in my mind right now...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Somewhat belated comment, I'm afraid, but I stumbled on this blog a bit by accident anyway, and please excuse if I write something offending and/or stupid, it's around three in the morning now and I'm in a sort of zombie condition.
I probably cannot even imagine the scope of your feelings and questionings about your marraige and relationship with your husband. I'm a)Jewish, b)not married, c)19 years old single mom d)not particularly religious.
I do believe though that the human life is the most precious thing that exists on earth, and where I may have trouble citing the arguments for how to determine who's life is more important, I'd say that in your current situation, considering that your husband shows reculance to stand up for your interests, there is only you to care for yourself. Prizing your life means not only taking care of your health but also not inflicting morally painful degrading abuseful situations on yourself. Like the one you seem to be living with your husband. Because you took vows in front of God, but so did your husband, no? To cherish and to hold and to love and to keep. He seems to be totaly disregarding those points... Divorce is not a sin, I should say, at least in this case, and you can at least spare yourself the guilt of separating the children (which you don't have, as far as I have seen..) from their father etc etc etc.
This comment is not pursuing a point, I'm just saying that you should take whatever decision makes your life least miserable, ultimately. A russian saying goes (yup, I'm of russian origin): Trust in god, but do not fail by yourself. Good luck!
Post a Comment