Saturday, January 06, 2007
I know I am healing...
I know God is working on my heart when I can hear songs like this one and look forward to the future. I know God has someone picked out for me and that Big Red was just a bump on the broken road. I know I will not be alone for the rest of my life even though at times it feels like it. I have wonderful friends and family but sometimes I just miss a "man hug". To feel the strong loving arms wrapped around me. Right now God is the only one in my life...Big Red legally still is but in my heart I am no longer married. I will behave as though I am until the divorce is final because God still calls it adultery until the lines are signed. I haven't come this far to throw it all away.
Even with the steps I make every day toward healing it still is hard. It doesn't hurt as much but it gets harder and harder to walk this out in a Christian way.
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On more times than not, I have said, the loneliness in this whole divorce thing is still not as lonely as being alone in a marriage. At least now I am in control of it and it is by choice. I do know what you mean, there is nothing like a man hug, but it has to be from someone who truly cares about you, it just takes all the bad away. But shhhhh, let's not let them know they actually have that kind of power ;)
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