Almost a year ago....

I can't believe it has been almost a year since I got back from Jamaica!
It was one of the most difficult weeks in my life yet at the same time the most rewarding, meaningful, fulfilling and special weeks of my life as well.

I know off and on I have talked about how much I miss being there. I have come to the conclusion that I miss the closeness I felt to God and to my friends more than anything else. Yes I really enjoyed building the entertainment center , the experiences and the views at the waterfalls.


I also miss seeing the smiling little faces of the children at the home. I think because we went as a group of only women the children bonded to us more than other groups. It took a while to warm up to us but once they chose you it was over they had your heart.

One little boy kept coming over and touching my arm, looking at it and saying, "Whoa!" After several days of doing this I asked. Apparently the children had never seen someone as white as me before. Yes Caucasian people had been there MANY times but I am the palest of pale white colors. In the winter you can hold up a piece of paper to my legs and compare the color with a degree of certainty.

I miss being able to make time with God and 9 other women every morning to just set in His presence and pray. That week marked the changing point in my life. God watched out for me (and others in the group) in more ways than you can imagine. The first night there "someone" tried to break into our house in the middle of the night...I slept through it but not everyone did. That in itself is a miracle...I have to feel safe to sleep and the fact that I was not awakened helped me feel safe enough to sleep the rest of the week. I did have a small TIA down there that passed very quickly...of course on the morning I was speaking at the Bible college.

Tomorrow I am meeting one of the ladies from the trip for coffee. There are also several others from the trip that I would not hesitate to call. The friendships formed on this trip will last a lifetime.

Kind of ironic considering how I argued with God all the way through the process, right up to the point on the airport runway when I looked at the friend next to me and said, "Oh crap. I'm going to Jamaica!"

Indulge me while I whine

Gas is way too expensive! I have a "professional job" and the scooter is not an option every day. This is actually what the gas signs is Jamaica looked like...but their currency is different so it isn't as bad as it looks.

I am thinking about investing in sheep for the yard because of the price of gas and my sheer (lol) distaste for the actual process of mowing the yard.

I guess this would be reason #167 why a husband would be useful at this point.

I had a board meeting tonight so I am just now arriving home after an extremely long day.

Cabin Fever is officially here!

It is official I have a bad case of Cabin Fever. And the local weather report here is predicting 11 inches of snow by Weds. morning. I am going to have to vote against that because I have more important things to do this week than dig my car out of a snowbank. I am ready for Spring for so many reasons...

• I am longing to go flying around town on the scooter.
• I really want the sun to produce warmth instead of fooling my mind into thinking it is warm outside despite the wind gusts that make the windchill around -25 degrees.
• I want ... no..... NEED to take the children at work outside. They need to run some steam off and get the wiggles out so to speak.
• I need to clean the house this week because Mom and Beau are coming back from Texas sometime this week... but I don't want to get out from under the blanket that has been keeping me toasty warm.
• I am ready for spring so that they can get some more of their things out of the house. I am not pushing them out but I feel like a kid living at home seeing all my Mom's things around. I want to bring more than my clothes, my computer and a TV into the house. I would like to decorate a little in something other than clowns for the living room.
  
• I am ready (for the most part) for the divorce to be final. I have a few loose ends to tie up but let's get things moving on....
• I am ready to get the garage put together into the woodworking shop. I just need to pick up the table saw from someone's house who borrowed it. When I have the garage ready Beau will be bringing down the tools that where my Dad's for me to have. Not all of them just the ones I can use for woodworking. I have already designed the entertainment center from Jamaica. I have created the plans for a bench/box with a "pillow top" to serve as seat while still usable for storage. I want to build my own book shelves. I know a little boy who might like a lego table. I have a few people already ask me to make them a step stool or a box with words burned onto the top. Oh I am ready to get started!
  

Not that any of this will happen this week but it is nice to dream.

My search is over!

As I have stated in almost every post about Jamaica I fell in love with these things called Jucci Patties.

I know they are probably horribly fattening or something just because I like them. BUT.....

I finally talked to the owner of the little shop I have been frequenting. Until now I have only come across his employees and well....I think a little was lost in their understanding of my English and I have not been able to track down the owner. It seems that when he goes to pick up his supplies and sundries in Chicago he can get me Jucci patties by the case!?!

By the case I tell ya! I am so flipping excited it isn't even funny! There are either 12 or 24 wonderfully mouthwatering delicious Jucci patties in each case.

He is checking on the price and will be giving me a quote to give to all my other Jucci patty loving mission friends so that the next time he goes he can bring them back for me!!!!!!!!! uhhhh....... I mean us!!

I know in Jamaica they were less than 75 cents each and to bring back a frozen case of 12 from the airport was only around $13.00. Still with taxes and importing them and all they can't be THAT expensive. It is not like I will make these a main part of my diet but it will be nice to splurge and relive a little piece of Jamaica.

I am sooooo excited!

Dreaming of warmer days

It is so cold here I am actually missing the warmth of Jamaica. The warmth that I thought would give me a heat stroke but warm nonetheless.

I continue to miss the camaraderie that we formed as a team down there. I still see almost everyone on the team weekly but it is just not the same.

I miss starting my day praying with 9 other women.

I miss not needing to worry about the everyday stuff of life and just serving the children and the people at the Children's home.

I miss the closeness I felt with those people.

I miss the "What happens in Jamaica stays in Jamaica" moments that were SO funny and not at all like the kinds of things that would happen in Vegas.

I still laugh when I think of one of my roommates screaming as she sprayed the bugs on the wall with the pesticide just to have all the little tiny ants come flying back at her hair. She was next in the shower no questions asked.

Maybe someday I will get to go back.

The Year in Review 2006

The year in highlights:

1. I started the year off by filing for divorce from Big Red. It is not yet final but should be within the next month. I have come a long way from the teary mess I was at the beginning of this year. I am more confident in myself and my abilities as this year comes to an end.
2. My Mom became engaged and was married in Sepember of this year. It has been interesting to say the least as we try to all get to know each other and combine this huge group of adults into a new family. I have 2 step sisters who are Grandma's and that makes me a Great Aunt. I remember as a child going to funerals of my Great Aunts and I am positive that I am not THAT old.
   

3. I took a huge step in my faith and went on a Missions trip. You faithful readers will know that I went to Jamaica in November. God worked in my heart in so many ways before, during and after that trip. I became more confident in what I CAN do. I discovered I can build things.
4. I am still growing in my faith and I have refused to get angry with God because of choices that Big Red has made.
5. I have discovered the joys of riding around our fair city on my Scooter. I love feeling the wind in my hair (through the helmet of course) and the warm sun on my skin. Oh How I can't wait for summer again!
6. I have become comfortable in sharing the story of how this happened. I no longer burst into tears everytime I think about the day I found out and the impact that one day has had on my life.
7. I am looking forward to 2007. I could not say the same about 2006. I see the future ahead of me and it looks promising. It has to be better than the last 2 years!

I miss Jamaica.

I miss Jamaica.

I miss the warmth that I was complaining about being too hot in.

I miss the views I was blessed enough to see every day.

I miss the closeness of the friendships I developed there.

I maintained the friendships but it's just not quite the same.

I miss the kids that I bonded with in such a short time.

I miss the feelings of accomplishment that I had from the projects we did.

I do not however miss the bugs, roaches or chiggers that bit me or scared me by scurrying across the floor.

I do have to laugh as I remember someone trying to spray the bugs on the wall and the spray being too powerful...the bugs blew off the wall onto all of us standing there. Not funny then but it is now.

Or I laugh when I think of "Lilly" being scared of a cockroach scurrying in our bedroom while she was doing her hair...as she screamed to "JEEEEEEEESSSSSSSUUUUUUSSSSSS" for help she doused the roach with about a half a can of aerosol hairspray. I am sure he is shellacked to a wall somewhere in Jamaica.

I am however happy to be back online....sleeping in my own bed....eating familiar foods...but I do miss the Jucci patties.

Banana trees and Jucci patties

The bananas in the grocery store just don't taste the same after you have had one that has been picked off the tree in your backyard. I have never been a real big fruit eater (I have however dated many fruits but that is another post) but while in Jamaica we were at the mercy of what the cook at the children's home decided to serve us. All the fruit down there seem to be sweeter. I even liked the fresh pineapple.

I bought bananas when I came back to my "House of no food". You see while I was gone Mom and Beau came down to "sort through some clothes and stuff to take back to the other house". I was assured none of my possessions would be altered or taken. You see I don't like change. It is partially a control issue having to do with times in my childhood when I had absolutely no control. Not many people do like change BUT for me it causes actual physical effects. I start to get agitated, start sweating, get a headache and my heart beats really hard. This lasts usually until I can take an hour or so to "explore" the changes that were made without me.

Anyway back to the "House of no food"~~~

I came home Sunday afternoon please note that I was supposed to arrive home Saturday Night but due to delays and other circumstances (beyond my control) I ended up spending the night in Atlanta before catching yet another flight home. I walked in to find the living room absolutely spotless....Great you might say until you learn that I could not find my file folder of bills due for 3 days, I am still missing a few of my knickknack type items but I am pretty sure she took those too.

I was tired. The kind of tired where you could sleep for days with no problem. I drop the one piece of luggage that came with me (the rest arrived at 2:00AM when the airport people rang my doorbell to deliver it) and stumbled to my room only to find things piled on my bed. If they couldn't find a spot for it it went on my bed...even the stuff that belonged to my Mom last May but now she has forgotten she owned.

Sigh....

I'll catch a nap on the couch...stumble to the kitchen to grab a hot cup of coffee (yes I know this is a new thing...it has to be flavored coffee but I am addicted) but I open the fridge to find...nothing. Well it had some things but not what I had left...a pitcher of koolaid, a few Pepsi's (I had a case before I left), a few packets of Jelly, Dr. Phil weight loss drinks (I have no idea where these came from but it had better NOT have been a hint from Mom), a half jar of Mayo, a 6 lb 13 oz can of tapioca pudding and batteries in the drawer.

WHAT!??!!

I open the cabinets to find all of the boxed prepared food (OK so I am not a gourmet chef) gone as well. No dishes, no paper plates, DVD player gone, VCR gone, MY plant gone, blankets in the living room that I had made ... poof! gone, trash bags, zip lock bags, Hot chocolate, pots and pans, even the blankets I used on the back of the couch to stay warm... gone.

I cried.

I called Mom and she insisted she thought it was all hers. A few points here:

1. She taught me how to "cook" doesn't it make sense that we would buy some of the same foods.
2. Did she really think the butter in the fridge was left over from May?
3. She thought I had dishes to use...I was scheduled to arrive home at 10:15 at night...sure let me go unpack the boxes in the garage and wash all those dishes so that I can have breakfast ...oh wait she took all that stuff too!
4. Blankets are stored on the back porch...the non heated back porch where I needed to go search through tubs to find as I FROZE because it is 30 degrees here and 102 degrees when I went into the airport in Jamaica.

Anyway....Now that it off my chest.....

The other thing I fell in love with in Jamaica is Beef Jucci Patties. These are not really patties like we think of them here. They are more like hot pocket type products but with Jamaican flavored beef (yes cow not goat) inside. The bread on the outside in SOOOOOOOOOO good! Unfortunately I have not been able to find them in any of our local international food shops here in our fair city. I have located them in Indy and Chicago...but I'm tired of traveling at this point.

IF anyone knows where I can purchase them in Fort Wayne or a web address that will allow me to order them online and have them delivered I would be VERY grateful.

Since I have to restock the kitchen anyway I might as well make it with food I love....

My view

This is the view I had on several nights during my trip. This is the sun setting over the mountains behind the children's home I stayed at. While I was there I was reminded daily about the glory of God. His wondrous creations in nature are evident everywhere you look. From the mountains, the flowers, the beautiful sunrises and sunsets (and even the darn little bugs that have decided to plague me still with the haunting bites) I was in awe of the creativity and might of God.

It reminded me that yes God did create the universe. No I did not come from Monkeys. And as it says in:

James 2:23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. (NIV)

Job 1-6 Job now resumed his response: "Oh, how I long for the good old days, when God took such very good care of me.He always held a lamp before me and I walked through the dark by its light. Oh, how I miss those golden years when God's friendship graced my home, When the Mighty One was still by my side and my children were all around me, When everything was going my way, and nothing seemed too difficult. (The Message)

God calls me His friend...Wow the Creator of the universe is my friend. The same One who made the mountains and oceans is my friend...

That is hard to even wrap your mind around...

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Dear Sister of Mine!

As I have recently returned from the land of Blue Mountain coffee beans you have a bag waiting for you as soon as we can connect our schedules long enough to make the transfer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

More pictures from Jamaica...

This is a typical house in Jamaica. Most do not have screens on the windows. Many homes do not have electricity or running water. Yet we knew people lived there because candles would illuminate the night and we would see them coming and going throughout the day. I never saw a lawnmower being used but I did see many homes with goats tied in the yard eating grass.


This is a picture of the entertainment center that my friend and I designed and built. The dimensions, cutting the wood, hammering and screwing them together only took a day and a half. We had to complete a few odds and ends projects during that time as well BUT midway through the second day the shelves were ready to be sealed with shellac. I had no idea that the two of us could complete it and make it sturdy but everyone else on the team had no doubt.

I cried when we finished it. I have been told for so long now that what I did wasn't good enough, I didn't do it right and that I was incompetent that when it was finished I was overwhelmed. The biggest thing God taught me on this trip is that I can do anything I set my mind to. I got my self confidence back!
Here is a picture of another project we built. This is an end table in one of the girl's room. In the background you can see the freshly painted walls and the new bedspread as well.

A few pictures for now...

It is truly a beautiful country. It took us 2 and 1/2 hours to travel 50 miles because we had to wind through the mountains on roads that can barely be called that. The clouds can literally be touched in the mornings as the sun rises in the mountains.

What a great day we had on our fun day visiting the waterfalls. This was after we had worked all week completing all the projects we had planned plus a few extra ones.

I will never again complain about gas prices here in the US. Ok so it is in Jamaican dollars and the price is for a liter of gas but it is still almost $3.00 a gallon once you do the conversions. Did you notice the dog in the bottom of the picture? Dogs are as common as squirrels are here. They are wild and are not really ever seen as pets. The garbage that lays in the streets is where they find food and shelter.

Houses scattered among the hills of Jamaica.