Monday, February 26, 2007

Wait.....


Boy how I have come to not like that word...wait.

Sometimes you wait so long for something that when it actually looks like it MIGHT happen...you really don't believe it.

Sometimes when you are anxious for an event to occur then it seems to take even longer.

When I was questioning God's plan and Big Red's refusal to consider children someone gave me the book called Wait.


Molasses. I feel at times like my life moves at the speed of Molasses in the dead of winter.

I now know that God had my best interests in mind. No I am not saying He took my children or gave me this disease but He worked it for the better of my life.

I have a nephew who has a birthday today. I haven't been allowed to see him but only twice in the last 7 years. I can't even remember how old he is.

I have had a headache for about 3 weeks now. I am currently unable to regulate my blood by my current medications. Too thin?...Too thick? Just wait a day or so and it will change. I need to get this insurance situation figured out so that I can go see the specialist.

But on a happier note I am in first place on the Fafazazzi! I am kicking butt. Even with all the crazy stuff little Miss Britney Spears has been up to it is no match for having Howard K. Stern AND Larry Birkhead (both claim fatherhood of Anna Nichole Smith's baby).

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sneezes




So in honor of all the friends, children, coworkers and others in Indiana who have all contracted colds because of the changing weather I will post the funniest things I can find on sneezes.

I will warn you that if you choose to visit the overheard in the office link you may find several offensive things...ok so more might be offensive than funny.




11AM Only the Office Fix-a-Flat Kit Kept Her from Deflating

Woman #1 sneezes, then looks terrified.
Woman #2: Are you alright?
Woman #1: I think I just blew out my tampon.

Ventura, California


via Overheard in the Office, Feb 14, 2007

10PM What Health Care Crisis?

Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh...Um...We don't do that here. I know some hospitals that
won't report you to the credit bureaus, though.

1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland


via Overheard in the Office, Jul 6, 2005

And this one just because I think it is too funny to not post this!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Maybe I should have bought this first...

Maybe I should have bought this book before I started this whole divorce process.

I could have gone here to buy a copy.

Big Red allegedly made the trek to the lawyer's office to sign the paperwork today.

Once he signs it....it goes to the courthouse and sometime in the next 3-4 weeks I will be among the hoards of divorced folks in this country.

It will be my only divorce.

Adultery sucks.

It will be his second.

It has been over a year since the original papers were filed.

I am more than ready to move on but I still have a small twinge of sadness that I will be a "divorced woman".

My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em. - Loretta Lynn

Almost every girl falls in love with the wrong man, I suppose it's part of growing up.
Natalie Wood

Falling in love-you should go with it, regardless of whether or not your heart gets smashed. You'll be a better person.
Sandra Bullock

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

And I have always wondered about my dancing skills?



This is too funny....Even if it is staged it is still hilarious!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Monday, February 19, 2007

Quiz things...

How much are you worth?


How smart are you?


How evil are you?



What finding nemo character are you?





you are... CRUSH! duuuude! your like, the turtle man! thats totally awesome! your like, all laid back, chilled out, your friendly and everybody loves you. you surf around on the eac (east american current) and ride it awsomely! duuuude! your awsome!
Take this quiz!












Which Disney Princess are you? (Girls only!)




You are Nala! Spunky, fresh, and always loyal, you are a wild and free spirit. You have a soft side that yearns for love, but easily cover it up with a tomboyish attitude and carefree humor. You laugh in the face of danger and take on any new challeneges you can.
Take this quiz!



Sunday, February 18, 2007

Mommy Dearest....

I know I might be showing my age a little by asking if anyone remembers the film Mommy Dearest? Why you ask?

I am doing a few loads of Laundry today and when I went to the closet to get hangers.....you following me here?...I thought of this movie.

Here is a link (be warned of some language) to some of the more famous quotes from the movie but here is the monologue that I remember most vividly:

No... wire... hangers. What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work and work 'till I'm half-dead, and I hear people saying, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about me. What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me. I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do. Three hundred dollar dress on a wire hanger. We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed. You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Oklahoma. Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess.

All this time she is beating her daughter for this infraction. With the coat hangers.


Now I am a bit young to remember this movie in such detail as it came out in 1981. Here is the kicker. My Mom decided to take my sister and I to this movie in the theaters. She had read the book and decided we should all go see it.

WHAT?

So we are on our way out to the car after this scared- the- crappola- out- of- me- movie and my Mom turns to us and says, "See you don't really have it that bad after all do you?"

crickets chirping...............................................................................................

If you ask my Mom about this she denies it happened but my sister and I remember it VIVIDLY.

And yet my Mother bristles when I say I became a Christian in 2002. She gets upsets and points out to everyone that I was raised in the church and I have always been a Christian. This church where I was taught:
  1. Hell doesn't exist. It is another parable like the feeding of the 5000.
  2. Everyone goes to Heaven.
  3. As long as you utter the name of Jesus at some point in your life you will sit at the right hand of God.
Wow and they wonder why I walked away? If everyone goes to Heaven why "waste time" in a Church pew?

I may have been raised in an environment where some people followed Christ but I DID NOT have a relationship with Him until 2002.

This post is so much more than I intended to type but the bottom line is if God can forgive me and all the junk I have done He can forgive anyone.... More info here.

Can you tell that my Mom and Beau will be back in town tonight? They have been gone since January 7th and the lack of stress has been wonderful....

Saturday, February 17, 2007

You have got to be kidding me?! Britney Spears is at it again!

Ok this girl seems to have finally gone over the edge! She shaved her head and got a few tattoos!?! Isn't there something about a 72 hour Psych hold that she can't fight?

Come on now. In and out of rehab within 24 hours...shaved your head BALD...B-A-L-D! and then get a lips tattoo and one that will not be confirmed or denied in another "location"?

If this is true I am sure it might get yanked down by YouTube or Britney's reps soon....





Rehab? Psych evaluation? If she seemed scatter brained and distraut then WHY did they give her the Tat???????Was she high? drunk? nervous breakdown? What about her kids?

Friday, February 16, 2007

The least we can do.....

I am not interested in debating the causes of the war nor the validity of our involvement in the war. I am interest in supporting the troops who sacrifice time with family and sometimes their lives so that I can be free.

A friend emailed me this link the other day. I think the least we can do for the soldiers is send them a card. It will not cost you anything but a few moments of your time. You do not enter any personal information, it is completely free and you can send as many as you want...the Xerox company only ask that you vary the covers of the cards so that a variety are sent.

Go ahead click it and send a card.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Strange but true....

Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.

In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.

Under the law of Mississippi, there’s no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.

Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term.

Lawn darts are illegal in Canada.

In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.

It is against the law to whale hunt in Oklahoma. (Think about it...)

A Venetian law decrees that all gondolas must be painted black. The only exceptions are gondolas belonging to high public officials.

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs (hotel/bar) must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.

According to law, no store is allowed to sell a toothbrush on the Sabbath in Providence, Rhode Island. Yet these same stores are allowed to sell toothpaste and mouthwash on Sundays.

Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year.

Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."

The handkerchief had been used by the Romans, who ordinarily wore two handkerchiefs: one on the left wrist and one tucked in at the waist or around the neck. In the fifteenth century, the handkerchief was for a time allowed only to the nobility; special laws were made to enforce this. The classical heritage was rediscovered during the Renaissance.

For hundreds of years, the Chinese zealously guarded the secret of sericulture; imperial law decreed death by torture to those who disclosed how to make silk.

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.

By law, information collected in a U.S. census must remain confidential for 72 years.

Candy made from pieces of barrel cactus was outlawed in the U.S. in 1952 to protect the species.

In most American states, a wedding ring is exempt by law from inclusion among the assets in a bankruptcy estate. This means that a wedding ring cannot be seized by creditors, no matter how much the bankrupt person owes.

In New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.

Vermont, Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine are the four states in the U.S. that do not allow billboards.

Wetaskiwin, Alberta from 1917: "It's against the law to tie a male horse next to a female horse on Main Street."

Women were banned by royal decree from using hotel swimming pools in Jidda, Saudi Arabia, in 1979.

In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both people wipe their lips with rose water.

In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.


More can be found here...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Jaded?....Nope not me!


I had a big post planned on anti-Valentines stuff like last year. Complete with links here and here and here and here.




Cynical? Why yes a little.

One of the things I thought about was the fact that one year ago today is when my Divorce Papers where filed with the court. I did not choose this day. I signed them at the lawyers office, they then sent them to the court house and worked there way through until they were stamped today...a year ago.

Valentine's day has a new meaning for me this year. Maybe next year the divorce will be final and I can make new memories with someone new.

I am really a hopeless romantic. I believe in the happily ever after, flowers, candy and candlelight dinners. Despite the horrible ending of my marriage, the adultery, the lies and the other circumstances surrounding my marriage I am not jaded. I still believe in love and marriage.

I am not looking for a man right now because I am still married. In God's eyes that makes any relationship with a man (boyfriend etc.) adultery for me. I simply will not do that. My choice.

Maybe later I will post some of the pictures I took outside today....
Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.
You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you

Your flirting style: friendly and sweet

What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance

Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I am not really shocked by this one....

Which Romantic Movie is Your Life?



The Princess Bride
Your love is like a fairy tale. He came in on a white horse and swept you off your feet. Now neither distance nor death can tear you apart. These are the romances we dream of in our lives, but fairy tales can be short lived. Don't get too swept up in the moment. Leave some room to get to know one another, so when the fairy tale ends you can still live happily ever after.
Take The Quiz Now!Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Snow snow everywhere!


So the snow they predicted actually did arrive and is still arriving as I type this. The say it will stop snowing sometime around midnight tonight.

But the wind...oh the wind is nasty.

One of our local little entrepreneur type kids was going door to door asking to snow blow the driveway, sidewalks and walkways for $5.00. He had a local grown up guy out there helping him that I know is a good guy.

Sure I say....go ahead. They did a pretty good job well as far as I can tell from inside my warm house all bundled up sipping my hot coffee. Five dollars is a small price to pay for the warmth I feel right now.

As I sit here I am hearing snow blowers and snowmobiles going crazy in the neighborhood. I can see a snowman from my window but not much else because the wind is whipping around the snow so much. They say over 10 inches before it is over. Yesterday I might have laughed at that but today watching it come down I am no longer a scoffer.

People driving in this weather amuse and frighten me. They either go 5 mph begging to get themselves stuck in a drift (or someone else stuck trying to avoid them) or fly along at 65 mph testing the limits of their car insurance policy. Very few and far between are careful yet safe drivers.

Me?? I am just opting to stay at home tonight. Car safely in the driveway. Myself snug and warm inside watching reruns of Law and Order on the Dish.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Cabin Fever is officially here!


It is official I have a bad case of Cabin Fever. And the local weather report here is predicting 11 inches of snow by Weds. morning. I am going to have to vote against that because I have more important things to do this week than dig my car out of a snowbank. I am ready for Spring for so many reasons...


  • I am longing to go flying around town on the scooter.
  • I really want the sun to produce warmth instead of fooling my mind into thinking it is warm outside despite the wind gusts that make the windchill around -25 degrees.
  • I want ... no..... NEED to take the children at work outside. They need to run some steam off and get the wiggles out so to speak.
  • I need to clean the house this week because Mom and Beau are coming back from Texas sometime this week... but I don't want to get out from under the blanket that has been keeping me toasty warm.
  • I am ready for spring so that they can get some more of their things out of the house. I am not pushing them out but I feel like a kid living at home seeing all my Mom's things around. I want to bring more than my clothes, my computer and a TV into the house. I would like to decorate a little in something other than clowns for the living room.
  • I am ready (for the most part) for the divorce to be final. I have a few loose ends to tie up but let's get things moving on....
  • I am ready to get the garage put together into the woodworking shop. I just need to pick up the table saw from someone's house who borrowed it. When I have the garage ready Beau will be bringing down the tools that where my Dad's for me to have. Not all of them just the ones I can use for woodworking. I have already designed the entertainment center from Jamaica. I have created the plans for a bench/box with a "pillow top" to serve as seat while still usable for storage. I want to build my own book shelves. I know a little boy who might like a lego table. I have a few people already ask me to make them a step stool or a box with words burned onto the top. Oh I am ready to get started!
Not that any of this will happen this week but it is nice to dream.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

This is the song I was telling a friend about the other day....


Your House (Hidden Track)
By Alanis Morissette
BestAudioCodes.com


Ok the song starts out a little creepy. But when I think of all the things that she does in his apartment I believe it is her way of saying goodbye...then she finds the letter and it is no longer her choice to say goodbye.

I can relate to this. No I had no intentions of leaving Big Red but when I found out about the affair I tried to grasp onto any little bit of control I thought I had. I wanted it to be my choice to leave. He chose the adultery and I wanted to chose to kick his butt to the curb. But when it was slowly revealed to me that he was/is still "dating" I no longer had the choices. Well I did because I could have stuck around and stayed (yeah right!) but I think more of myself than to live in a relationship like that.

I don't feel like this song anymore but I can see how someone could get stuck in this place....

Saturday, February 10, 2007

My search is over!


As I have stated in almost every post about Jamaica I fell in love with these things called Jucci Patties.

I know they are probably horribly fattening or something just because I like them. BUT.....

I finally talked to the owner of the little shop I have been frequenting. Until now I have only come across his employees and well....I think a little was lost in their understanding of my English and I have not been able to track down the owner. It seems that when he goes to pick up his supplies and sundries in Chicago he can get me Jucci patties by the case!?!

By the case I tell ya! I am so flipping excited it isn't even funny! There are either 12 or 24 wonderfully mouthwatering delicious Jucci patties in each case.

He is checking on the price and will be giving me a quote to give to all my other Jucci patty loving mission friends so that the next time he goes he can bring them back for me!!!!!!!!! uhhhh....... I mean us!!

I know in Jamaica they were less than 75 cents each and to bring back a frozen case of 12 from the airport was only around $13.00. Still with taxes and importing them and all they can't be THAT expensive. It is not like I will make these a main part of my diet but it will be nice to splurge and relive a little piece of Jamaica.

I am sooooo excited!

Friday, February 09, 2007

Schoolhouse Rocks Part 1

Whether you admit to it or not if you grew up in the 70's in the United States you know the words to most of these songs.



Another of my favorites....

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Ok here we go AGAIN.

Since the site hosting this tourney had a glitch in the program and the whole season crashed I recreated the season AGAIN.


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Need a good laugh?

I am not sure why I find this so funny... but here it is



And I found the commercial I found to be the best during the Superbowl.....

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Be warned now...


I received this nice little forward not too long ago and I find that it applies today more than ever. Not only is my entire arm swollen from the earlier no water during a fast my butt...like that will ever happen again if you are sticking me with a needle.... "incident" this week but now I have the dreaded cramps!

So here is my hormonal opinionated email someone sent me....of course it was from another female...

Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantyliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
-Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
-Try Kotex blah blah blah other products

Obviously, the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products... Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol. Printing out s**t advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the s**t in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer. There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone In the store. The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of purchase. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your a**. Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!

Ovarily Yours,
Miss PMS

**** OK as one of my kind readers has brought to my attention Always slogan is "Have a Happy Period." Are these people nuts!? so I started checking out some of the other slogans and saying taken off their Web pages for feminine hygiene products:

Tampax Pearl- Once there was plastic but now there's Pearl... I'm not really thinking of jewelry at that moment.

Playtex Tampons- Making your life better everyday. The page speaks of confidence and comfort?

Stayfree- Live life. Stay free.

I did happen to find this on You tube and although a bit tacky I love it nonetheless....


Thursday, February 01, 2007

Not for the squeamish...

Not for the squeamish...you were warned.

I detest needles. Have I mentioned that before? Today I found myself in a chair not unlike the one pictured at my doctor's office. Oh the dreaded testing that comes along with APS. Usually they are not as bad as the one today. Somehow a test was thrown in that I needed to fast for 12 hours before. Not have any additional Vitamin K in my system from food or something like that.

I don't do well with fasting blood tests. You see my veins roll causing an uncomfortable situation for myself and the person taking my precious blood. If about an hour before the test I drink a bottle of water my veins don't roll as much therefore they do not have to "dig" for them as they do the blood test.

You were warned.....

For 20 minutes she strapped and unstrapped both of my arms searching for a "usable" vein. This is not a good sign. She gently spoke of the talk radio program she had on as she saw me growing increasingly apprehensive. Next thing I know she has put the "rubber hose" around my forearm. Oh crap! Those hurt I know this from the past...before I was told of the bottle of water thing.

Now take a second to look at your hand...OK now your wrist.....you know that little bone on the outer side of your wrist. Not a lot of cushion there in that spot? Mine either! About a half an inch above that spot I have a bruise that is swollen from the IV tube thing they hooked up to draw the vials of blood. Yes that was plural...I stopped counting.... But my blood must have been extremely thick today as it took 10 minutes to finish. AND I kept hearing her say things like whoa, wow, look at that and oh my.

I did well with the actual draw despite her comments.

Then the after effects hit. I asked for a drink of water. Not yet they said.

When I woke up they had a fan on me. On high less than 2 feet away from me kind of fan. Then I realized I was vomiting into a bio hazard bag...well kind of...since I had been fasting. While recovering from the Big pass out of 2007 I took in all the wonderful stars still floating in the room and all the other wonderful side effects that go along with that.

When I recovered and they FINALLY let me leave I realized the entire process had taken well over an hour. I have no idea how long I was out. I have spent most of the day in a fog.

And man my wrist hurts! I am sure by tomorrow it will be a nicer shade of purple...