Fun with neighbors....

Well the snow hit with a resounding THUD outside in the yard! I measured around 5 inches I think but it was difficult to tell because it had blown around the yard quite a bit before I made it out with the snowblower.

The snowblower we have is a MONSTER! It is a 7.5 HP red beast that weighs at least 1000lbs! I am just happy that it has all the bells and whistles like the electric starter, self propelled with huge wheels to tear right through any mound ahead of me however...

My arms and legs are killing me today!

After a neighbor helped me with the electric starter (I didn't have a cord long enough) and had a good laugh at why we needed one this big I was on my way. It only took about 45 minutes to snow blow the driveway, sidewalks and a spot in the yard for my sis to park so the snowplows could go through without burying her car. I was exhausted!! I have to be careful in colder weather because it becomes more difficult for me to breathe and coldness ups my risk of blood clots for some reason. Sometimes I don't realize how limited I am by the APS until I go to do something everyone else can do and almost kill myself in the effort. It doesn't stop me from trying but I have to be very aware of my limits.

Are you ready for the funny part?

The garage is not attached to the house so therefore I took my keys out with me to unlock the garage to have access to the Monster.

No Problem!

When I was ready to come back in the house I went toward the door and out of habit reached in my pocket for my keys. Exhausted and out of breath I can't find them...hmmmm.

The house is unlocked but I know that the keys are outside somewhere. I go get the spare key to the garage and look but don't find them inside. I got the spare car key to check inside where I grabbed my gloves.

Nope.

I begin to walk around where I have used the snowblower. Nope.

I begin to fear that they have fallen out and I have run over them sending them flying into the piles of snow I have made.

This is one of those times I am very thankful that I have BIG bright key chains on it!

Well they apparently they did go through the Monster of a snowblower as I eventually found them in the middle of the yard where I had not walked.

Another. 45. minutes. later.

I was afraid to pick them up and see what mangled mess would be left...

Amazingly there are only a few small scratches on the remote for the car and so far all of the keys I have tried work well.

Now today I need to tackle the car and getting that cleaned off....

More useless information...

As of 2006, 200 million blogs were left without updates

Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.

Up to 25% of hospital keyboards carry the MRSA infection.

"Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states.

Toilet paper was invented in 1857.

And now courtesy of Guinness Book of World Records


Ken Edwards of Glossop, Derbyshire, England ate 36 cockroaches in one minute on the set of The Big Breakfast, London, England on March 5, 2001.

Bernie Barker (USA) ( b. July 31, 1940), a regular performer at Club LeBare, Miami Beach, Florida, USA, began his career in 2000 at the age of 60 as a way to get in shape after recovering from prostate cancer, and worked as a stripper until he sadly passed away in March 2007. During his career, he won over 30 contests.

The fastest time to eat a 12" pizza is 2 min 19.91 sec by Tom Waes (Belgium) in Ghent, Belgium on December 2, 2006.


If I had a job I wouldn't have time to do the research on all these stupid things...

Happy Halloween

So here is the Halloween post that everyone loved and linked to before so I will make this a Halloween tradition...


From the days of Old....

The hunt is STILL on

The job hunt is an ongoing process....

Sigh......

I had 1 interview today and another on Thursday with a different company.

Right now my job is...finding a job...at least that's what Dr. Phil would say.

The thing I like right now is that I can sleep in until 7:00am, take the Squirrel to school and grab a cup of coffee before I start the search. I sure don't miss the phone calls at 5:00am when someone called in sick and the mad rush to get there before the first child arrived.

I do however need a job so I can move out and give my nephew his own room. Not to mention that the money would come in very handy with Christmas approaching.

Oh Wait! We just had our Christmas and Thanksgiving combined up at the lake in a restaurant because Mom and Beau are leaving for the south of the country this Thursday. This Thursday. I am not sure when they return but I am thinking someone might have mentioned April?

I still want a job so I can move out and feel like a grown up!

Some interesting facts I have learned on the World Wide Web:

Earthworms have five hearts

SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below

More than 90% of plane crashes have survivors.

Watching television can act as a natural painkiller for children

Iceland has the highest concentration of broadband users in the world.

The two most famous actors who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” in the cigarette ads died of lung cancer.

Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies

The largest pumpkin weighed 377 pounds.

On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

Nondairy creamer is flammable.

More American workers (18%) call sick on Friday than any other day of the week. Tuesday has the lowest percent of absenteeism (11%).

Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The average person will spend two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn't wear pants.

Tokyo has had 24 recorded instances of people either killed or receiving serious skull fractures while bowing to each other with the traditional Japanese greeting.

Thoughts for today

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

The road to success is always under construction.

Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!

Oh what a morning...

Not for the weak stomached...

Yesterday afternoon I was summoned across the street to gather up the littlest dog at my sister's humble household. She had a seizure and the little fellow wouldn't leave her alone.

So he awakened me nice and early this morning to go outside for his "daily business" as my grandma would have called it. Not a problem he went out...

I proceeded to check the email, get ready for church and dink around the house...well I dinked a little too long I guess.

I am walking through the living room to get my keys to take the lad back before church and I interrupted him "doing business" on the living room floor. I yelled his name and he stopped... tried to run away but dropped little presents across the living room during his great escape.

I guess once the process is started...

My lovely cat is following me down the hall as she isn't thrilled that we have a house guest. They get along but she doesn't like competing for my attention. I guess we have been alone together too long. When we have a guest human or animal she sticks really close. REALLY REALLY CLOSE. I tripped over her at least 6 times since he came to visit.

Back to the story...where was I? Dog pooping...cat following..dog running leaving a trail...oh yes!

As I yell his name I stop at the entrance of the living room and the smell hits me...then the smell hits the cat and the cat starts throwing up! I try to grab my cat and take her to a non carpeted place...but she runs.................... and continues to puke. In different spots down the hallway before I manage to pick her up.

Let's recap:
* Running late for church
* Dog poops
* One4jc yells
* Cat pukes

Any guesses???
I walked across the living room, grabbed my keys, grabbed the dog and took him home all the while praying that my Mom did not show up between now and when I got home from church.

So I went to church arriving only a few minutes late and came home to clean it all up after church.

Wow makes me wonder what this afternoon has in store...

Gas Prices

So the price of gas went up again...

Too much time on your hands?

I don't care if it is real paint on the cat....

or if someone used a tool online to create these pictures....

Someone has WAY TOO MUCH TIME on their hands!

Look in a mirror before you leave the house!

OK I am going to get on my little soapbox for a moment and comment on some hideous things I have seen recently.

1. Check your "rear view" mirror before you leave the house. I don't want to see crack especially if it is attached to a tool belt. And absolutely NO crack with Cottage Cheese dimples in it!

2. I am a firm believer in the theory that anything spandex should not be produced or made in certain sizes.

3. If you can't breathe while buttoning your pants to put them on...it really isn't going to get THAT much better once "they get stretched out"

4. Muffin top. Don't do it. I have done it on accident on occasion but once you see yourself you'll understand why people tell you NOT to do it.

5. And for the men out there...If your jeans make you look like this guy (below) does in his jeans we are NOT turned on! Somethings are better left to the imagination or not thought of at all.

6. If your cleavage is so high that you have a serious risk of suffocation should you lean too far forward then it is time to let those babies breathe a little
.
7. Just do everyone a favor and look in the mirror before you leave the house.

Just funny

So I typed "Just funny" into my handy dandy Google search engine and clicked on the images link.

I picked the ones that made me chuckle to post here...

Enjoy!

Like we need another thing to worry about!

Burger King.

What were you thinking?

Many women already have hormonal problems with age and well.... WE JUST DO! OK!

Like I didn't have enough to worry about that now I watch which foods I eat out of fear of growing a mustache!




Yes I know it is a joke but I do still find the dancing guy a little creepy!

The Princess Bride is the best!

I love this movie! I think hands down this is my favorite movie ever!
The Battle of Wits!




The Wedding!



Just thought I would share...

More later!

Lessons learned at a laundromat.

So because my "laundry person" at work was sick at the end of last week I had to take the bag 'o quarters to the laundromat. If you read the previous posts you will note that I have been a little under the weather.

Today is the first day I left the house for the 3 day weekend as I have slept for most of those other 2 days.



So it was easier to take the quarters to the multi machine facility for 1 1/2 hours than to spend the entire day doing laundry here at the house.

It has easily been 3 or more years since I have been to a laundromat...Oh how things have changed!


1. Keep your quarters in your eyesight at all times. I am pretty sure at least one of the guys was homeless. He sat in front of the machines and watched the laundry tumble yet I never saw him actually touch anything. He did walk around occasionally and look for spare change.

2. If one drops on the floor forget about it! The children are swarming around looking for change for the vending machines. I did see most of the parents give them a quarter or two but 1 or 2 was never enough according to the children.


3. Many different languages are spoken at a laundromat. Almost all of the children were bilingual. Even if you hear the words Mickey Mouse that doesn't mean you are allowed to smile or look like you understood EVEN if you are the one with the Mickey Mouse Item.

4. In the movies and TV shows where people are all happy and talkative... Yeah. Doesn't happen. I did not see one person grab a bottle of pop and start a dance line while singing in the building on the way to the streets to continue the "parade".

5. One has to take a car to the laundromat. No scooter in the world will hold 3+ loads of laundry.

6. Those great romances that are born out of conversations while folding your delicates at the counter? Yeah. Not going to happen. The only guys I saw where either missing MOST of their teeth (and the one or two left were already black) OR they were the smart ones who dropped off the laundry for the Pay By the Pound method. Oh wait there was one guy who had been dragged there by his wife...

7. If you walk away from a machine that you just took clean hot laundry out of to go get the wet laundry to REFILL the machine... don't expect it to be available when you turn back around.

8. I think my "laundry person" deserves a bonus.

Things we wouldn't know without movies...

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Indulge me while I whine

Gas is way too expensive! I have a "professional job" and the scooter is not an option every day. This is actually what the gas signs is Jamaica looked like...but their currency is different so it isn't as bad as it looks.

I am thinking about investing in sheep for the yard because of the price of gas and my sheer (lol) distaste for the actual process of mowing the yard.

I guess this would be reason #167 why a husband would be useful at this point.

I had a board meeting tonight so I am just now arriving home after an extremely long day.

Too funny!

I received this email and thought it was so funny I had to share!

Dear Tide...

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

Hysterical!

Hysterical I tell ya! I don't know why but I find this commercial to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It ranks right up there with the evolution of dance.

...was arrested for....

I have done this before and gotten a huge kick out of it so I thought I would give it another go. Just go to Google and type in your first name..."was arrested for" and see what pops up. None of these are me so be rest assured all is still well in one4jc land...

One4JC was arrested for:

..l.was arrested for public intoxication and possession of less than an ounce of marijuana

...felony counts of endangering the welfare of children and false imprisonment for restraining the children by using duct tape.

...crystal meth possession.

...on first-degree murder charges .

...possession of a controlled drug and an electronic bench warrant.

...charges of theft and embezzlement

....arrested for allegedly practicing medicine without a license.

...Criminal Nuisance in the first degree.

...attempted murder.

....stealing $30000 by writing checks to herself

Wow! If this was me I would have a significant amount of jail time ahead of me...

What happens if you do it?

Oddities

Oddities are common around here. People for instance...you will not believe this but this woman actually does look like one of my Grandma's. However it would have been a cigarette not a cigar.

Working in the field I am in I tend to come across odd children and parents. 'Nuff said.

But I have always been fascinated by odd names. So I have compiled a list of odd names either that I have known personally or that I have stumbled across on the internet.

JOHN BATH married ELIZABETH DUCKEM Launceston, 03/12/1650.

CHARLES SWINE married JANE HAM Perranzabuloe , 13/01/1711

ISREAL KNEEBONE Crowan - MR/MB/81, buried 13/02/1937, aged 87 years.

Crystal Toot, President, Kansas State PTA.

Jim James

2.4 year old triplets, 2 identical, 1 fraternal Charity, Faith, Hope, Kyler and Genesis

And there are 13 sets of twins floating around with the names of Mia and Mya...either of these by themselves are easily two of my favorite names but can you imagine standing at the back door yelling out into the yard for them? It reminds me of Mama Mia!

What about Dick Trickle?

John Senior, Jr., New York City.

Mrs. Screech, Singing Teacher, Victoria, British Columbia.

Dr. Zoltan Ovary, Gynecologist, New York Hospital, New York City.

And Nicholas Cage named his son Kal-el Note: Kal-el is Superman's birth name. Now even I am NOT that big of a fan!

Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller) named his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter

And we can't forget Demi Moore and Bruce Willis with daughters Rumer Glenn, Scout Larue and Tallulah Belle

Oh and growing up I actually knew people named Jimmy James and Derk Dirk.

So do you know of any odd names?

Armstrong flooring

I love the new Armstrong flooring commercials! If you click here it will take you to the official site to see all 4 of them. After watching the first one scroll down to be able to chose the next one to watch. Make sure your volume is turned up.

I love the one with the dog because well I have had a dog like that in the past.

The leftover one could describe this one thing in my fridge right now. And can I just say that is such a typical male thing to do.

The magic one is just plain funny.

And for some reason the dancing one made me think of a family I know (well and my sister's husband) that just made this absolutely hilarious!