Spring cleaning is on!

So after watching the TLC show called Clean Sweep this morning and walking out to find that the cat ran races in the living room scattering paperwork everywhere I have determined that a good round of cleaning must occur. Of course I need to contact Big Red about getting the Kirby over here....it was awarded to me in the divorce settlement.

I am anxious to get some of my things into the house and Mom and Beau's out BUT since the rent I pay is VERY reasonable I can't really complain...yet.

I couldn't help myself

ANTI-TALKSIDENT

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.



DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

JACKASSPIRIN

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.



MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person.




NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

I'm back from the edge of insanity...Part 2

After some well deserved sleep I have a little different perspective on things. Not really a better perspective just different.

I slept 9 hours last night...still exhausted I came home from work early and took a 3 hour nap today. The only thing that could make this better would be if I had my ankles back. Even with the MANY...MANY times we stopped to stretch and potty my ankles and calves are still one...cankles I believe they are called. After much soaking and elevation I believe the only thing that will bring back "my" ankles is a hot tub.

Nope don't see one in the backyard....out of luck I guess.

So back to the trip...

Beau has racist tendencies. I was unaware of this before the trip. We could not eat at certain places because they were "too dark"... If you aren't born here then go home... I just don't like "them"... I actually heard the word "coloreds"... Women should not drive after dark or alone (oh wait that would be his chauvinistic side).

After I came out of a store and he accused 2 guys of "casing the place" because they were walking around inside up and down the aisles I explained that they were talking about legs hurting etc. He turned and sneered a little disbelievingly "Oh you speak Spanish now?"

"Yes I do, enough to understand that...You have enough children in your classroom that speak Spanish you tend to pick up the language...oh and I had 3 years in high school....not to mention that my ex husband is Puerto Rican."

His response??? "Well I still just don't like them!" Someone piped up that Big Red is Hispanic again..."Yeah...I wouldn't have known that until I met his Mother." I asked "What did you think he was?"

"Oh I don't know I guess them Puerto Ricans can be that dark too. "

WHAT!!!!!!!!!

OK fine. You don't like Big Red. Fine. Don't like him because he cheated on me...don't like him because he's a jerk...don't like him because of something he has control over...

To not like him simply because of the color of his skin is ridiculous, ignorant and just wrong. I lost a lot of respect for him.

Over the course of this trip we heard many comments like this...he had numerous opportunities to back track out of or clarify his position. He never did. He never stopped to think that Sister's husband was not born in the USA either.

My parents did not raise us this way. I was raised ignorant of other cultures simply because we did not live in a town big enough to have much diversity. Everyone was equal and judged on their own actions and merit...not skin color.

Where in the H-E-L-L did Mom find this guy? And this has suddenly become OK with her?!? It seems as if she is slowly turning her back on everything that was important to her...

I'm back from the edge of insanity...Part 1

Oh what a trip! I think I see many posts coming from this 3 day whirl wind trip to Texas for the funeral of my Aunt.

On Friday I was in Indiana....we left at 7:00pm. By 3:00pm Saturday we were in Dallas. We were back on the road heading North by 4:15 Sunday afternoon and arrived back in our fair city just after 2 this afternoon.

Keep that in mind as I fill in the blanks....HUGE blanks.....we were all very tired.

Before we even made it to Indy I knew we had made a mistake. We should have never agreed to let Mom and Beau come along in the same car.

Beau is a former truck driver. He thinks he knows everything about ever road. And MapQuest? Why those directions aren't right! He would not even let us read them to each other. I started as the co-pilot and my sister was driving. I was reading the exit numbers to her and he would interrupt to tell me they were wrong AND go on to give us the "right" directions.

As he is telling us the directions I realize they are EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT IS ON MY PAPER! He just refused the entire trip to let us give each other the exit numbers. He would tell us we were wrong and it would spiral out of control from there. He insisted we only use the names of the roads for guidance. Even thought the man is basically deaf we could not have a conversation in the car without his input. And if Beau was talking no one in the car could really sleep...until I remembered my lovely MP3 player that I could sleep with.

And then my Mom's legs started cramping. So she was moved to the front seat. Sister was moved to the back with me and we started to get some ZZZZzzzzz's. Well I did Beau and Mom started talking to my sister and prevented her from sleeping...AT ALL... all the way to Texas basically. The only time Sister got to sleep was when Beau got to sleep...defeating the purpose of alternating drivers for rest purposes.

Of course there is so much more to the story including damaging the spoiler on the car...limiting the time spent with our family (who we went to comfort and see to begin with)...the "RUDE" argument...making fun of the car, people and everything related to the trip...oh and the discovery that Beau is a racist...

I NEED a shower and to do a load of laundry so I will continue the story later...

To go or not to go?

That is definitely the question of the afternoon. We are poised and ready to make a weekend run for the southern states to do the calling/viewing/showing if it falls on the right day.

If not we will be planted here this weekend sending prayers to them.

I would like to go because they are family. One of the most favorite type Aunts.

Been there and done that. Losing a parent just sucks. It doesn't matter how old you are it is a life event that makes you grow up...instantly. And it hurts.

The Roller Coaster part 2

What a week it has been! Divorce, new job, and now an Aunt has passed away.

This was the Aunt that lived rather far away but we would travel down to see her family and they traveled up every year (sometimes twice a year) to spend time with us.

She seemed to be the spunky Aunt. The one who lived in a reality that as teens we understood and she understood us.

She was my Father's older sister. She was the one who could calm my Dad down at the "family functions gone awry". You see most of the members of that side of the family are alcoholics or do not drink at all. It made for interesting funerals, weddings, birthdays and other holidays. When someone in our family died (a rather small town) the liquor store raised it's prices before the extended family arrived.

Just a few of the highlights:

1. A drunk cousin got lost with the boat on the lake...or so we thought...they sent a then under aged One4jc out in the speedboat to track them down. I knew the lake well after dark and was quite handy with our boat. Did I mention they left at 2 in the afternoon? At 8:30pm someone on the boat finally convinced him to stop at a local bar on the water with a dock. They immediately called the house for help. I came home and parked the boat only to be taken to the bar to drive the other boat home.

2. At my grandpa's funeral one relative slapped another in front of the casket at the calling. Something about a daughter calling out another daughter (both cousins), a soap opera and the phrase "dead meat".

3. A cousin was sent by airplane home because of his drunken rampages. Dropped off at the airport at midnight to fly out the next day...talk about a huge timeout!

4. An uncle fell through/off a dock while fishing (and avoiding the funeral activities) but managed to NOT spill his beer by thrusting his arm upward as he fell into the 5 feet deep water. Didn't save the suit but by golly he didn't spill a drop!

5. A cousin who was a cop almost had to arrest another cousin who refused to give up the keys. And then a screaming match ensued once back at the house and his sisters flew out the door of the house in opposite directions. There stands my sister and I pointing their husbands in the right directions and then their parents in opposite directions to calm them down after the drunk cousin passed out in the living room.

Colorful? You bet!

Unfortunately she really liked Brandy and those long thin cigarettes. So the combination of a tumor in her liver didn't really shock any of us too much.

She passed away sitting at a kitchen table. That is the way she would have wanted to go.

Except she didn't have a glass of Brandy or a cigarette in her hand.

Rest In Peace...

The Roller Coaster that is my life...

Ok so after the emotional roller coaster that my life was yesterday I am feeling much better today. I left some things out yesterday because I needed to inform the proper people before anyone else could do it.

You see yesterday 2 major changes happened within 30 minutes of each other. I found out through a phone call from Big Red that the divorce was final...simply because he needed the paperwork from the lawyer who wouldn't release it until some cash exchanged hands. As I was leaving the lawyer's office with my paperwork in hand I noticed I had missed a call. I called it back to find a job offer at the other end. I accepted a better position with more money etc etc etc.

I gave my notice today at work and it was much smoother than anticipated.

However this is 2 major life changes in my world within a half an hour...and a name change! I am not fond of change. I do not like change.

Stress? What stress? I found this little quiz to take.

I scored 346!

LOL I will come through this just like everything else. Time it just takes time.

Here's a picture of my car...

This is a label I never wanted to have.

This is a label I do have.

My Mom actually cheered when she saw the paperwork as I walked in the door to my house.

I didn't like the cheering...a simply congrats would have done.

Just kidding it's not my car but it could be today.

I found out today that the divorce is final.

Actually it has been since the end of February and I just didn't have the paperwork.

God will walk me through this part as well.

I didn't expect the emotions that came with these papers.

They are just papers. The marriage was over a long time ago.

Free thinking....

I discovered this new little blog that offers up a free association exercise every week. So hey why not? Let's give it a try! Ok the first thing that comes to your mind:

1. San Francisco ::


2. Sadness ::


3. Spirits ::


4. Harriet ::


5. State ::


6. John ::


7. Offense ::


8. Timeless ::


9. Account ::


10. Refuse ::

So head to the comments and type your responses...I will post mine later this week.

A meme

And now, a meme "borrowed" from cmhl

I added a couple instead of redoing all the numbers. It was missing a couple...

1. Where is your cell phone?
on the desk

2. Your Vehicle?
in the driveway

3. Your hair?
in my eyes

4. Your wish?
More Money

5. Your father?:
Cemetery

6. Your favorite thing?:
hugs

7. Your dream last night?:
Hot tub with a drink by myself

8. Your favorite drink?:
Pepsi

9. Favorite Movie?
The Princess Bride

10. The room you’re in?:
bedroom

11. Your ex?
Big Red

12. You are?
ready for the divorce to be final

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
happy and content

14. Who did you hang out with today?
nobody

15. What you’re not?
afraid

16. Muffins?:
no I like bagels

17. One of your wish list items?
to be self supportive

18. Where is the ______ ?:
Prince on a white horse

19. The last thing you did?
wrote an email

20. What are you wearing?:
sweats and a tshirt

21. Your favorite TV show?:
Law and Order (original or SVU)

22. Your pet(s)?:
One cat

23. Your computer?:
Love it!

24. Your life?:
On hold

25. Your mood?:
hopeful

26. Missing?
My "stuff"~~ It's in the garage :o(

27. What are you thinking about right now?
A decision in church tomorrow

28. Your Shoes?:
None right now

29. Your work?:
hmmmmmm

30. Your summer?
SCOOTER time!

31. Your favorite color?
Purple

Let me know if you pick up this tag so I can check it out.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The many different aspects of St. Patrick's day have always been a little confusing to me. I am Irish. BUT I am a part of the orange wearing protestant Irish faction.

No I do not believe in Leprechauns.



If you read my Sister's blog you will already
know of some of the issues we faced growing up in the

community we did.

My Dad always insisted that we wear orange on St. Pat's

Day. Now please understand that being the Irish descendant that I am I bruised very easily and they tended to show up VERY WELL. It would become a game to all the other children to see who could leave the darkest/biggest bruise pinching me because I was not allowed to wear green that day.

My Mom would take mercy on us and give us a green leprechaun pin to wear after my Dad left the house for work.

The really ironic thing now is that we were raised in such a way as to encourage us to be friends with anyone, date anyone and not hold anything against anyone because of how they look. My sister and I both ended up married to men with origins based in different countries.

BUT this one day a year in my Dad's mind all of those things were out the door.

So anyway if you are heading out this evening to partake in the beverages please do it responsibly and DON"T DRIVE!

And if you happen to see me be warned that if you pinch me I may not react as well as I did in school... I bruise a lot easier now because of this blasted clotting disorder I have.

This is soooooo true!

Someday..........

I know someday I will have this. I just have to wait on God's timing.

Welcome to the sun!

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day! The sun was out and it was over 70 degrees!

Of course I need a new battery in the scooter and I wouldn't have had the time to ride today anyway.

By the end of the week we are suppose to see snow flurries...

I ate too much of a good thing last night and woke up with a stomach ache at 2:00am.

I was so full that I didn't eat breakfast at work, snack and only had about half of my lunch...

It is 7:45 at night and I think I might finally be getting hungry.

It is forecast to rain tomorrow...

Sigh.

The graduation recap

The graduation was the same fun filled event that I expected it should be....you know with Mom and Beau involved.

I started off running interference between Mom and Sister. You see when Sister graduated with her Associates degree Mom walked...no wait....stormed in and embarrassed Sister in front of ALL the people in her graduating class. Over something utterly stupid and ridiculous that did not even happen.

I made sure that I fixed Sister's cap for the ceremony including the tassel that Mom insisted should look that way (all crooked and bunched up). I took Mom's camera and made sure all the settings were correct for her to take pictures during the ceremony. Good Lord I hope she didn't change them!

I made sure the Squirrel had plenty of suggestions of what to draw to avoid any irritations. Given that everyone was super hungry I tried to get the restaurant changed to one we could get into quicker but I lost that battle.

We did have a highly humorous conversation about cursive letters. Squirrel is learning those in school. She told him the lower case m's have 2 humps and n's have one hump. No I say he has it right m's have 3 humps and n's have 2 humps. A full fledged critique of my educational experience was launched. Normally I might have let this go but the boy listens to Grandma's advice intently. And well ... he had it correct. After several minutes of this disagreement I finally looked at the people behind us who were stifling laughter and asked them. Yes alas the boy and I were right. She told them not to get involved with it... in her own passive aggressive way. The IRONY here is that for 40+ years of her life she has been signing her checks with a name that includes no less than 3 of these lower case letters. I asked her if she had been signing her name wrong all these years...OK maybe that wasn't so nice but she but she all but called me an idiot and questioned my profession of teaching children about letters.

After Sister received her diploma and made sure it was signed :o) we headed off to the local eatery for a late dinner.

My sister ordered a Patty Melt. When it arrived my Mom said, "Huh! I have never seen a Patty Melt served on Bread before!"

In my sisters wisdom she simply responded, "Well I like them this way."

I love my family but sometimes I really worry about Mom. She has been referred on several occasions for testing for Alzheimer's but she refuses to go. Sometimes I feel that if she refuses to get help and admit there might be a problem then my hands are tied. And golly that makes it really hard to deal with her on a daily basis.

I am glad that Beau is in her life. It helps me not worry about her setting the house on fire or hurting herself as much.

I have the squirrel!

If you read my sister's blog you will know about the squirrel aka the squirrel on crack after 4 or 5 espressos. I have agreed to watch the dear boy and the dog so that they may scamper away to a concert and night away post graduation celebration type thing.

Notes so far:

• I have only had him for 6 hours.
  
• A mere 32 more to go.
• He is very excited to have the dog AND (my) cat in the same house.
• He cheats at Jenga.
• He says that's how Daddy plays...
• Now that the DVD player is fixed he doesn't want to watch any of the ones I have.
• After setting all the guards and security levels at the highest possible settings I let him play a few computer games online.
• I have already stepped on too many Lego pieces
  
• He discovered a "brand new game" called Space Invaders
• My "Internet safety" settings can be set high enough to not allow the phrase Alien Blast or Ammo
• He apparently is getting ready to grow OR he is never fed at home.
• he has mastered the entire train set and set up every possible configuration.
  
• With over 100 channels on the dish he still can't find anything he likes.
• He has barely let me out of his sight. Well a girl has to pee sometime!
• He rarely stops talking or observing things.
  
• I have told him the Aunt one4jc needs some quiet time of at least 30 minutes.
• NOW!
• I am sure the sis will get a full report of the "no fun" we had
• We have played many games, online and off together. Talked about God, the dog, the cat, Santa Claus (not sure where that came from), toilets, superman, mail delivery, army men, laundry, breaking promises, school, money, food, drawing, GI Joe and Uncle Big Red.
• The dog mistook the cat litter box for her treat jar.
  

Well he has decided my time is up.....

He is on the hunt for food....AGAIN.

Quiz things...reposted with corrected links

Which Reba character are you?
Reba

You are the feisty red headed Reba through and through!

Take this test

http://www.testriffic.com/rtest/one4jc/4092

How well do you know the TV show ER?
A die hard fan!

You have seen the shows and the reruns too! You are a true ER fan!

Take this test

http://www.testriffic.com/rtest/one4jc/3945

Movie Quotes
Quite The Movie Buff!

You really know your movie quotes! Or maybe you are just a really good guesser. Either way, Great Job!

Take this test

A walk down memory lane

So my head hurts...I came home early from work and took a nap only to awaken to the doorbell ringing almost a half dozen times to announce that my Mom and Beau were paying me a visit.



So in my effort to avoid any detailed conversations that will make

my head hurt even more I took a drive to get some fresh air and run an errand.

I started wondering when my Mom became crazy exactly.



Was it after my Dad passed away? No she was rocky at best before all that happened.


Before I went to college? My high school years? Was it my brother who drove her over the edge in his High school years?

We may never know. But she is there....loonyville that is.....crazytown...she's happily calling it home these days.

In my thinking back on all of this I thought a lot about things from my childhood. The pleasant memories anyway.

The Little Rascals was always a favorite of mine....like the time they all went camping and forgot to pack food. Only the littlest kids brought jelly and bread and they all sat licking their lips until they all shared.

Mr. Rogers always reminds me of my Dad. You see as a child my Dad actually resembled him enough that other kids would stop us in stores to talk.

Captain Kangaroo (Captan Roo Roo) ruled at my house! I think I saw every episode and even had my big sis help me make my own picture pages since my Mom wouldn't buy them.

Rikki Tikki Tavi was on several times a year. Afterward my cat would "become" the snake and I would pretend to pounce on her. Good thing she didn't have claws!

I lived for the Laugh Olympics when all my favorites HB characters would get together and complete for the gold medal...Later we seemed to always have the same types of games going on in our backyard with some of the neighborhood kids.

After school specials seemed so "real and relevant" to my life. I never wanted to miss one. But no my Mom and Dad didn't divorce, no one was an alcoholic and the neighbor didn't have a drug house open. They didn't really pertain to me but they COULD have in my mind.

So what were your favorite cartoons as a kid? Where you allowed to watch TV? or "FORCED" to play outside all day?

Movie quotes

Since in the last post I had a quiz that labeled me a movie buff I thought I would test my dear readers movie knowledge.

So here it goes list in the comments your best guess at the title of the movie and if you are feeling lucky the person who says it.

1. 1. "I'm freezing my royal Rastafarian na-nas off!"

2. "You're a--you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying, I don't know who my mother was; I'm an orphan and I've never done drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant."

3. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

4. "The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed!"

5. "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."

6. This one I will include 2 quotes from the same person and the same movie: "Pink is my signature color." and " I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

7. "You just put your pickle on everybody's plate college boy, and leave the hard stuff to me."

8. "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity, that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over lake Michigan."

9. " If they can dye the river green today, why can't they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?"

10. "Chief, why don't you take this job and shovel it!"

Ok there you go let's see if we can get some of them answered... if not all of them!

******Update*******
They have all been answered correctly!
1. Sanka ~ Cool Runnings
2. Peter Banning ~ Hook
3. A French soldier~ Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4. Miracle Max ~ The Princess Bride
5. Red ~ The Shawshank Redemption
6. Shelby ~ Steel Magnolias
7. Johnny Castle ~ Dirty Dancing
8. Ralphie as an adult ~ A Christmas Story
9. Marshal Biggs ~ The Fugitive
10. Lenina Huxley ~ Demolition Man

Congrats to all and thanks for playing along!

The imaginations...

Sometimes things are not as they seem. A bystander can look at a situation from the sidelines and draw a conclusion based on what the people want you to see.

Unless you are directly involved...hands-on not just buzzing by...don't assume to know what is going on.

Big Red did sign the papers at my lawyer's office...so off to the courthouse they go.

Thunderstorms just 2 weeks after we had a blizzard warning??!!

Oh that's OK now we will have flood warnings.

The Hiccuping girl finally stopped...not some cure all. They stopped on there own.

Lord's' cheque bounces

Thursday, March 1, 2007

This is one bank that would not pay out

Next time, Kevin Russell may want to ask God to give him cash.

The 21-year-old from Gary, Indiana, was arrested after trying to cash a cheque for $50,000 that he said was given to him by "his Father".

Local police said the cheque was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

He was charged with one count of attempted cheque fraud, one count intimidation and one count resisting law enforcement.

He now faces a maximum sentence of seven years.

Police were called to the bank at about 4pm after Russell tried to cash the cheque.

He had several other cheques with him that were signed the same way but made out in different dollar amounts, including one for $100,000.

Russell allegedly struggled with police as they tried to detain him and then threatened police as they transported him to the Hobart Police Department.

"I've heard about God giving out eternal life, but this is the first time I've heard of Him giving out cash," said police detective Jeff White.

I don't know about you but I don't think I could get that entire signature on a check line!