Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My Legacy?

Since the divorce I have been struggling with the idea of not having a child. You have to understand that when I was a child I would stuff baby dolls under my shirt so that I could pretend to be a "Mommy". For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mom. A Mommy...

My current last name has had a few not so desirable people associated with it. I would love to make sure "the name" has a child of God as a legacy. I want to leave my own legacy as I am sure everyone does. This child doesn't have to look like me, talk like me, be like me but I want a child to pass on my legacy.

Through the song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman that I heard (with a new perspective) at the recent Women of Faith conference I have come to discover that I am leaving a legacy. It just doesn't look like I thought it would.



I am leaving a legacy by teaching and directing at a daycare. I am leaving a legacy by living my life for God through the good times and the bad. No matter what I do I am a living witness for my faith and for God. I have had many people comment to me about how I handled the divorce... how I handled losing my children...the death of my Dad... the abuse as a child that I endured...etc etc etc.

Those things have made me who I am today and that is part of the legacy I leave. Just being me and not giving up on God when it would have been so easy to do.

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Although adoption is not out of the question and I am by no means giving up hope that someday I will have children. I am just accepting my lot in life and becoming content with where God has placed me for this moment in time.

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