Today was one of the best Christmas celebrations I can remember in a long time. It wasn't about the things I received, not that it ever really has been in my adult life. It was more about the laughter we shared. Whether it was my nephew asking my sister if she wanted "whoop" cream on her cheesecake or laughing because the prime rib was finally cooked right and no one demanded that we boil it and smother it in sauce (au ju? I believe it is called). As usual some of the gifts were forgotten until the last moment and handed directly to us. We spoke of stories about misperculated (yes it was the old style) coffee all over the floor because she didn't put the lid back on top and coffee not processing because she forgot to add the water. Bottom line the woman shouldn't be allowed to make coffee at all.
The hands down funniest moment ever at Christmas this year involved of all things my beloved cat. Let me preface this with a few facts. First, in my Mom's eyes this cat is like another grandchild...she can do nothing wrong. I love my cat BUT she is an animal and she does occasionally do things wrong. Second, my Mom had assigned everyone (but herself and me especially) the task of making sure the cat stayed out of the food in the kitchen while we were eating. When my Mom was full she asked the nephew to take her plate to the kitchen and set it on the table for her to "nuke" and finish later. And lastly she is a Siamese cat who weighs all of 4 pounds maybe 5 if she has just eaten. Picture this:
After diligently watching the cat all through the meal my Mom exits with the nephew to get a few surprise presents from her bedroom. My Mom could not have been out of the room 15 seconds when I look up to see the cat (notice at this point that I'm not claiming her) dragging a nice juicy piece of PRIME RIB across the living room! This piece of PRIME RIB is easily half the size of the cat! Remember the beloved dog from the It-chick blog? Well after her surgery this week she has a bald spot with stitches on the top of her head sticking straight up. To quote It-chick, "She looks like a little old man with a bad comb over". Well behind the cat (dragging the piece of PRIME RIB) is the dog trying to get close enough to see what she has. I scoop up the piece of PRIME RIB to discover this isn't just any one. It is the piece off my Mom's plate! I go trash it as my Mom is entering into the hallway (I'm laughing the entire way) and Mr. Toughguy goes to retrieve it to feed to the dog! I hurry back to the living room to scoop up the cat (as she is licking her lips) and plop onto the couch just as Mommy Dearest enters the room. Whew! I narrowly avoided certain disaster. You see the cat may do no wrong BUT when it comes to my Mom and PRIME RIB ...
The kicker to this whole thing is that my Mom never noticed that the rest of her PRIME RIB was gone!
I can't wait to see It-chicks take on the whole day...did I forget anything?
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