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Well it's official. I've started the process. I opened up new bank accounts today to protect myself financially. I know I'll still pay bills and protect our credit during this but I can't say the same for Big Red. I also called and made THE APPOINTMENT. I meet with my lawyer on Dec 20th. It sounds so far away but it is really only about 1 1/2 weeks away. That sounds so strange...My lawyer.
I spoke with one of my Pastors last night and he made an interesting comment. He has been very involved in our lives for the past 8 months well... really ever since we have know him. Needless to say he knows us both very well as we are friends with him and his wife. Anyway back to the comment. I told him about my plans for moving on Saturday, my plans for telling Big Red a) I'm moving b)It's over and I'm filing for a divorce (whew) and where God has taken me and the things He has taught me. During this conversation he said, "I'm sorry it has come to this but... this has been a long time coming. " I looked at him and he said, "Well you guys have been going through this for a long time now." I told him that I was waiting for the "release from God" and that He had done that several weeks ago at the retreat and I was perfecting the timing of all this. He said he understood. I think it is almost like everyone else is tired of seeing me fight a losing battle. I'm fine with that because I am right with God. I needed to wait on God's timing so that 10 years from now I don't look back with regrets.
The Bible verse above is one a friend gave me when I was really struggling this past summer. I find it to be very encouraging because I know that God has released me from the obligation (or vow) I made to stay in this marriage. He will guide my steps and protect me during this whole thing. I also know that if this lawyer isn't right for me He will provide one that will protect me as well. I'm not going into this naive but I am also not willing to let Big Red ruin me financially either.
And by the way I'm still moving whether we are having a blizzard or not! WE CAN DO IT!
I spoke with one of my Pastors last night and he made an interesting comment. He has been very involved in our lives for the past 8 months well... really ever since we have know him. Needless to say he knows us both very well as we are friends with him and his wife. Anyway back to the comment. I told him about my plans for moving on Saturday, my plans for telling Big Red a) I'm moving b)It's over and I'm filing for a divorce (whew) and where God has taken me and the things He has taught me. During this conversation he said, "I'm sorry it has come to this but... this has been a long time coming. " I looked at him and he said, "Well you guys have been going through this for a long time now." I told him that I was waiting for the "release from God" and that He had done that several weeks ago at the retreat and I was perfecting the timing of all this. He said he understood. I think it is almost like everyone else is tired of seeing me fight a losing battle. I'm fine with that because I am right with God. I needed to wait on God's timing so that 10 years from now I don't look back with regrets.
The Bible verse above is one a friend gave me when I was really struggling this past summer. I find it to be very encouraging because I know that God has released me from the obligation (or vow) I made to stay in this marriage. He will guide my steps and protect me during this whole thing. I also know that if this lawyer isn't right for me He will provide one that will protect me as well. I'm not going into this naive but I am also not willing to let Big Red ruin me financially either.
And by the way I'm still moving whether we are having a blizzard or not! WE CAN DO IT!
5 comments:
Protecting yourself is far more than just a new bank account - it is dealing with everyone who has provided credit to you in your married life - home mortgage(s), car loan(s), bank credit cards, cell phone accounts, telephone accounts, store credit cards, etc. For example, if you bought furniture on a store credit card a few years ago, you gotta make sure that you won't be responsible if he buys more furniture on that card.
I am not a lawyer, and I don't know anything about Indiana law, but unless you trust him to have enought honor to not screw you financially, you should do a lot more than you mentioned. You probably still vulnerable...
I forgot - making a list of all accounts - minor and major - would be a good step now.
Thanks for the heads up. If you note I said I had started the process. I have already taken care of the credit cards, the auto loans, can't do much with the house until it's final, and all but one of the utilities (including cell and home phone) are in just my name. He will be given a deadline to open accounts in his name and then they will be shut off Period. We don't have any other accounts that the bill could be driven up on that are in both our names. Did I miss anything?
Home Depot or Menards or the like?
Video Rental?
Hard to say...
We don't really have anything like that. I'm going to go through all of our bills to see if I've missed anything. Thanks
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