Adultery...Affair sounds too fun....call it what it is.

It is THE day. THE day that I wrote about last year. THE day that I found out about the Adultery.

It has been 2 years since that day. I am emotional this week but I think it has more to do with Mother's Day, a D & C anniversary and well.... hormones to be honest.

I find it strange that something that so consumed me last year at this time is something I may not even think about on any given day.

Now that is what I call progress!

I know my emotions are healing and I am not so focused on the negative. I still am not sure I am ready to date yet even though the possibility is there.

I don't think it is the fear of being hurt (although that plays into it) but rather more about not wanting to give up this new found freedom. The freedom to come and go as I want. The freedom to run around in my PJ's until noon on Saturday if I want. The freedom to take off on my scooter and put 30 miles on it if I want before coming home.

Don't misunderstand me. It still hurts when I think about that level of rejection. Unless you have walked that road in your marriage I don't believe you can truly understand that level of rejection and pain.

And the ANGER. I still have my moments that I want to tattoo a red A for adultery on his forehead. Spray paint it on the house or the truck.

I won't.

Anger needs to be constructive not destructive. At least that is what I learned in counseling a few years ago.

I am still healing and growing in my faith every day. As long as I move forward soon I won't look back in the same way. I will look back at how God has brought me through this experience. I have already begun to share my story with others in similar situations. If I can help someone else then maybe just maybe it can make a little more sense as to why I walked though this.