Well apparently Big Red's accountability partner would not let him off the hook...BUT I'm never ever "allowed" to talk to his AP ever again. Whatever. I pointed out to Big Red that his actions are not exactly screaming, "I want to work this out!" He then deflected the conversation back to me and how I'm not cleaning the house etc. Sigh. I can see this is a losing battle. I have that peace about the situation that only God can give me.
Ode to Big Red
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
Disclaimer**** I am not advocating Spousal Abuse in any way.*****
I also did not write this wonderful work.
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4 comments:
Just out of curiousity, what is an accountability partner? Sounds a bit wierd to me.
It is a person (within our church) that helps to hold us (separately) responsible for our actions. It is almost like a fail safe measure to help us walk a Christian path. It helps deter us from falling into a negative behavior pattern IF we listen and are responsive to the advice.
Well, good luck.
It's a hard situation to be in, I'm sort of in the same spot myself, and I ended up spending some time at my parents house back in Mn. The most basic problem is that we can't talk with each other, everything that either of us says either goes past the other person or angers the other one (except for totally routine stuff), and she refuses to go to counselling. It seems to me that the whole point of counselling is to have a neutral person in charge of the discussions, so that actual communications can occur in a situation where it is totally broke down.
In my opinion, no amount of reporting to an "accountability person" can compensate for non-communications, something more effective is needed. It just doesn't seem to me that assigning an "accountability person" is a useful solution to your problems. No offense to your church intended.
As I said before, good luck. Hopefully the two of you will laugh about this when you have your 25th or 50th wedding anniversary.
Whoa...the AP is supposed to help us in between Counseling sessions. They do not replace a trained counselor. The AP is a "friend" type person who tries to keep you in check with reality. We can't make any progress without a counselor involved. Big Red is also refusing to return to counseling at this point. I am almost "done" dealing with his games.
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