My thoughts on life...and God...friendships and whatever else crosses my mind!

THE Check up

2010-08-14T22:31:00.002-04:00

So I had my health insurance check up this past week...oh joy! The typical things like weight, cholesterol, glucose levels, tobacco use (or non-use in my case) and what I need to do to improve my health.

Hopefully this year I didn't scare them enough that they will assign me a "Health Coach" again this year.

The thing that cracks me up is that even after losing 100 pounds they still consider me to be "morbidly obese" by their little charts. Because I only have lost 12 pounds in the last year they are a little concerned. Here is the catch though...in that same time frame I have lost 8 inches off my waist and brought down my BMI by 7 points. I point this out and they seem to be happier. I explain that I have been exercising more and that I am becoming more defined with muscles...

Oh! Yes they agree!

My thinking on this is:

He is supposed to be the "Health Professional".
He had the same numbers in front of him that I was looking at.
He is a RN and I am a regular gal just trying to get healthier.

Why was I the one who pointed out these differences? He was the individual that is in charge of advising me about my health for the 20 minutes we are together and I was the one interpreting the numbers to him?!?

This may be part of the issue with the current health care crisis. Which is why I have always taken it upon myself to learn as much about my own health as possible.

Learn about any conditions you may have and take responsibility for your own health because you may be the only one paying attention.

I will get off my soapbox now...

Back again...

2010-07-13T22:48:00.003-04:00

So I have been writing a lot lately and I think I will be restarting this blog so that I can have a creative outlet.

Of course I am still choosing to be anonymous in my writings so this could get interesting.

I will soon, hopefully, be sharing stories of the wonderful group of women I have found myself in the midst of, sharing again my faith and telling you funny stories of singlehood...because yes I am still single...shocking I know :o)

Perfect People

2009-07-21T22:57:00.002-04:00

This has been running through my head for several weeks now. As humans we are flawed, broken and not worthy of His grace and love...but He gives it anyway.

So we come bruised and battered to set at His feet.

I guess I should feel sad?

2009-06-25T21:01:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time I posted this little rant about Michael Jackson.

And now today I find out he has died.

I didn't like the guy. I thought he was a pervert and should have been listed on an offender registry.

On one hand my thought was, "Good he can't hurt any more little children!"

On the other hand the man changed music and dance forever by what he did in his professional life.

On the other hand (no one is counting them right?) I thought, "Dang Satan won another one!"

Now I do not profess to know what his faith was or even have any kind of knowledge about his relationship with God but looking at how he lived his life I would venture a guess that it was not a close intimate relationship.

This saddens me. Not because of who he is but because of the awesomeness Michael missed out on in a relationship with God.

Not to forget that Ed McMahon passed away this week and Farrah Faucett as well.

But because of the big wacky life Jackson lived those deaths are overshadowed by the rehashing of the molestation trials, the payoffs and the oddities of his life.

Nonetheless he had lupus and that does hit a little too close to home for me.

A new link that I like....

2009-06-24T23:47:00.003-04:00

So I have a site that I am starting to really like....it allows for being honest and completely unknown in frank discussions about God, Dreams and other women's issues as well.

Go check it out here.

I'll wait here while you go check it out and let me know your thoughts....

Sigh..... the struggles of life

2009-06-11T21:46:00.004-04:00

So I had a mandatory work function this evening...and to my surprise some of my coworkers had mixed drinks at this event. To their credit they did not flaunt this and even tried to keep this little adventure a secret from me.

I was pretty sure at various times I had smelled alcohol on them but thought maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Someone accidentally gave it away in front of me because he was unaware that I not supposed to know.

I know that I can't force people around me to NOT drink.... BUT if it is a mandatory WORK event that I must be at is it really fair to ask the alcoholic to be around it and not stumble and drink? It wasn't as if I could be at the event and not be around those people. We had to be in close proximity to each other.

I have been sober for about 4 years. I am not going to say I have had NOTHING to drink in 4 years because I have slipped and fallen off the wagon on a few occasions. But I have not had anything to drink in 10 months... including tonight. The key for me is that when I do stumble in this area (well really any area for that matter) I need to ask forgiveness from God, forgive myself, be accountable to someone by owning up to my mistake and start over. I am not willing to give up being sober!

I also tend to get discouraged if I start my "sobriety time" over just because I make a mistake. That is why I hold onto the 4 years instead of the 10 months time frame. I also know I have friends I can text or call that will ask me about it the next day. But at the same time I also know if they receive that call or text that they will pray for me.

But above all I try not to place myself in a position where I have to make that choice which brings me back around to mandatory work functions and the presence of alcohol....

I guess I am just venting a little frustration. Soberly venting.

The whirlwind of my weekend

2009-06-07T22:15:00.003-04:00

I missed the wedding yesterday because I was working but made it to the reception.

Granted it was not a family wedding so you will not hear stories of the rednecks or cowboys.

This reception had a few cultural events I was unfamiliar with...some sort of train dance where you attempt to knock the bride and groom off the chairs they are standing on...

I realized that sometimes a wedding isn't a happy occasion for all involved. I saw sad faces mixed in with the happiness.

But most importantly I saw a family coming together to support each other. I saw a friend who supported the Mother of one of the youngsters getting married and helped her hold her emotions together for the event.

I learned what support looks like from the outside. I have learned in my life to be supportive but I don't recall in my family ever seeing anyone else supporting each other. I have seen defending, belittling, codependency, alcoholism and many other things but not support in a healthy way.

I am currently in a season where I am learning about healthy relationships. I am learning about friendships and other ways to be emotionally healthy. I have started down this path before and even thought I had it under control at points but this time I am involving God in the process at a much deeper level.

What I will take away from this wedding is the realization that my friends ROCK! With all of my faults and flaws they love me for me.... just like God does.

So today I have started making an effort to tell those around me how much I love them and how important they are to me. I want them to know that I too love them with all their faults and flaws...I love them for their imperfect humanness!

Progress........

2009-06-04T19:48:00.002-04:00

So apparently there is a skinny woman begging to come out from underneath this junk food inspired layer of fat!

I have already dropped one full pants size in just under 2 weeks! WooHooo! I am doing the happy dance!

I am being very purposeful about anything that goes in my mouth. Well and drowning it all in water several times a day :o)

I have chosen not to purchase a scale and track my weight in that way because this is more about getting healthier than the actual number of pounds.

Maybe when there is a significant loss then I will post one of those pictures of a skinny person standing in a huge pair of pants. LOL

My newest goal

2009-05-31T21:11:00.005-04:00

So I am onto a new journey! I am on a journey to lose a little weight and get healthier.

When I was going through the divorce with Big Red I lost just over 80 pounds. Not through any big effort or change in my diet but purely out of stress.

Now I am NOT recommending a divorce or
affair as a means to lose weight but I should have continued on the path while I had a good head start on things.

But alas here I sit.

I am reacquainting myself with the food pyramid. I honestly had not given it much thought after the test I had in Health class many many years ago.

Being 5' 7 I graduated High School right around 100 pounds...no it was not an eating disorder. But I didn't really NEED to watch what I ate. Then the miscarriages started and the depression sunk in. I turned to many things for comfort including food. Now here I sit almost 20 years later and easily twice that weight. I don't own a scale, and have no intention of buying one.

Yes I do want to lose some weight but the overall goal is more about starting to live a healthier lifestyle and getting comfortable in my own skin again.

God has started showing me that I hide behind my weight and my humor. I have become the stereotypical funny chubby friend. He is showing me that in order to grow in Him and fulfill His desires and dreams for my life I need to get things straightened out in this area.

I need to stop hiding and step into the freedom He has for me!

So join me on this journey or just cheer me on. But either way please be assured I will still be funny or at least crack myself up on occasion...

Laughter

2009-05-30T23:43:00.003-04:00

Today I am thankful for laughter. I have not had the opportunity to laugh much today in particular...but I think one of the best feelings in the world is a big hearty belly laugh with friends.

So I am making a goal to find something to laugh about everyday!

A great explanation of the disease I have!

2009-05-30T10:12:00.000-04:00

Mom is still crazy....

2009-05-28T20:20:00.000-04:00

So my lovely sister had a surgery recently. She had her ...um...internal female parts removed.

We sit making small talk to try to cut the tension. Well the word Cancer had come into play and we discussed family history etc.

So my Mom in her infinite wisdom looks at me in the waiting room and says....

"You might feel better if you just had it out too...." I said no I will deal with whatever comes along.... and she says, "well is might ease your mind and you aren't going to use them anyway."

Thank you Mom for giving up on me once again.

She has given away or sold all the toys she was saving for my children. I have been given the blankets that my late Grandma made for my children (it is traditionally a shower gift given to you). She purchased the "final set of stockings because we aren't adding anyone else to the family"

Why should I not begin to expect these things from her? After all we had to buy back some of the family heirlooms from a local consignment shop. She wouldn't give them to us or let us buy them because we "couldn't afford them". Well I bought them for half of what she wanted to sell them to us for :o)

Boundaries are a wonderful thing! She has been home from the southern regions of the US for over 2 months and we haven't had her over to the house...and have no intentions of making that invite. We are doing great at meeting at neutral places...so far....

Anyway....Mom is still crazy....

I had forgotten I had this blog

2009-05-22T21:04:00.002-04:00

I had forgotten that I had this blog! Life is so different!

I spent some time rereading the first few months of posts and I am amazed at how different my attitude is now compared to then.

Big Red did get remarried to the 20+ years friend from the earlier posts...you know the one he wasn't having an affair with while we were seperated..LOL

I am once again a home owner, my lovely sister and I are living together still, Mommie Dearest is still around and kicking with Beau, God is still on the throne and I strive to grow closer to Him everyday...

The life of a homeowner!

2008-09-21T10:58:00.003-04:00

I have been busy working on the new house! Painting, plumbing, unpacking, tossing the junk that my Mother insists is ours and it isn't.

My newest project this weekend is putting a wrought iron railing around the back deck so that the insurance company doesn't decide to cancel our policy. She was awfully picky on one other issue...if you could see me I am rolling my eyes....we have two boards on the front porch that she considers "warped". They started off saying we have to replace the entire porch and now we are down to the two boards. The really picky thing is that where they are popping up higher than the rest of the boards is directly under the railing on the front porch!!

There is NO chance anyone would walk on this warped board unless they were falling breaking a leg, and sliding under the railing on the way to the ground below!

A few funny things

2008-07-13T16:58:00.004-04:00

The economy isn't the best right now so this sign was seen posted in the break room at work.

On one hand I am glad it isn't as easy as a drive thru divorce but man some people can be just reduced to their lowest points during this process.

Moving day is fast approaching and we are getting more and more excited.
I am ready to put some space between us and the Ex's.

Where was I?

2008-07-04T19:13:00.002-04:00

$5490.00

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

I am not dead but if I was it would be nice to know that my car would be paid off.

So I have been very very busy with the things of life and did I mention I am buying a house? It is cute. Very Cute. Lots of character.... It has a tree house in the back for the squirrel and we will all have our own bedrooms! That hasn't been the case since September...needless to say we are all a little excited. Yes it needs a little work, painting the rooms, laying a kitchen floor, putting up handrails on the steps, but this is all stuff we can do with minimal amounts of help...unless you are volunteering :o)

I mentioned in the last post that Big Red has gotten married. I am not really upset about it but it isn't like I am going to invite them over for coffee. I do not want to see them together. I just want him to go away. Now that my name is FINALLY off everything we owned jointly I do not have any reason to ever see him again.

HOORAY!!!!

Things are looking up and I am excited!

Still alive and kicking!

2008-05-10T23:14:00.002-04:00

I am still alive contrary to the rumors of the death of my blog. I have just been very busy trying to keep up with the Squirrel, deal with Big Red finishing up the odds and ends of name/title changes of the divorce, suffering through Mother's Day, the not-so-new job and the trials of life in general.

Maybe I just need a new layout to get interested in this again...new colors...new information.

Oh wait I have stuff to blog about...just lack the time to do it...And the squirrel thinks my keyboard is too loud so he "shushes" me when I type...

Did I mention Big Red got married a couple of weeks ago? Yeah maybe there will be more on that later...

So I resisted the urge to choke him today....

2008-03-13T08:42:00.003-04:00

So after dropping the squirrel off at school today I had to stop and get gas. And what is up with $3.45/ gallon?! That just cements my idea of finally buying the motorcycle this summer. Well that and I don't have to park a 1/2 mile away from my desk...it will be just 50 feet or so. I filled the tank up and it cost almost $50.00!! This is where I make myself sound old by saying, "I remember when..." gas was only $0.59/gallon.

How did I get so off track?

Any way... I ran into Big Red at the gas station and he had enough nerve to tell me that he was taking his girlfriend's son to the orthodontist. The man who did not want to be bogged down with a kid...didn't want the responsibility of a child...is now playing "Mr. Dad".

He hasn't had time to follow through on the rest of his obligations from the divorce decree but he can take time to criticize me for missing church last night, ask me about new car deals available right now and a host of other things while I was waiting for the gas to finish pumping...

Anyway I am just mad...I'll get over it....must get ready for work.

Ouch

2008-02-26T21:29:00.003-05:00

I know this may sound really odd but my tongue really hurts! When I look in the mirror it looks like I have several taste buds swollen, irritated and inflamed.

I thought maybe I was doing that crazy sucking thing when I sleep again. I know that sounds odd but apparently I suck on my own tongue when I sleep at times...

Given that I have worked with children and seen almost every ailment known to mankind I have ruled those out. I am not currently working with children so it would make it highly unlikely at best.

Oh Well just another oddity of my life...

Whew....

2008-02-18T20:35:00.002-05:00

The events of late in my humble abode have left me exhausted to say the least. Dealing with our little squirrel with issues of medication switches, shake ups of homes etc has taken a toll on us all.

The slightly odd note here is that Squirrel has begun refering to me as one of his parents. I find this odd. I have made no secret of my misfortune in the child producing area of my life.

However this past weekend it dawned on me that I am old enough to be the parent of every young girl sitting at my table on Sunday mornings. Most of them were born the year I graduated from High School.

WOW.

I do still have every intention of Adopting someday. God's timing ...not mine...

The new job...

There is someone who was hired at the same time as myself for the same position only Part time.

The problem I have is that she sleeps....yes at work. She is only in her 20's!

She even plans this into her day! "I will just do XY&Z and then sneak in a nap before lunch..." Our supervisor is aware of this but has been SO BUSY he hasn't had time to address this issue with her. I am not implying that this is an excuse for him...we literally have had people walk out and quit, pass away and other issues like flooding at his home etc. All major issues.

I hope this is taken care of soon or at least addressed...the rest of us are tired of picking up the slack. We are only picking up things that reflect on us as a group, her indivdual responsibities are hers to screw up. Which will become abundantly clear in the next several days.

I am tired and will be curling up in my nice warm bed away from the evil wind outside soon so I bid you farewell.

2 years ago....

2008-02-14T14:57:00.003-05:00

Two years ago I posted this on Valentine's day.

Two years ago my divorce papers where actually filed at the court house. About a year ago the divorce was actually final.

I could really care less if it Valentine's Day this year. I am not saying I am thrilled with being single but I am OK with it.

I am getting on with new parts of my life and enjoying how I have been stretched by God in the process.

I know I have been scarce around here but I have other interests now and don't feel the need to vent as often as before.

I am amazed at the progress I have made...

Fun with neighbors....

2008-02-02T14:32:00.000-05:00

Well the snow hit with a resounding THUD outside in the yard! I measured around 5 inches I think but it was difficult to tell because it had blown around the yard quite a bit before I made it out with the snowblower.

The snowblower we have is a MONSTER! It is a 7.5 HP red beast that weighs at least 1000lbs! I am just happy that it has all the bells and whistles like the electric starter, self propelled with huge wheels to tear right through any mound ahead of me however...

My arms and legs are killing me today!

After a neighbor helped me with the electric starter (I didn't have a cord long enough) and had a good laugh at why we needed one this big I was on my way. It only took about 45 minutes to snow blow the driveway, sidewalks and a spot in the yard for my sis to park so the snowplows could go through without burying her car. I was exhausted!! I have to be careful in colder weather because it becomes more difficult for me to breathe and coldness ups my risk of blood clots for some reason. Sometimes I don't realize how limited I am by the APS until I go to do something everyone else can do and almost kill myself in the effort. It doesn't stop me from trying but I have to be very aware of my limits.

Are you ready for the funny part?

The garage is not attached to the house so therefore I took my keys out with me to unlock the garage to have access to the Monster.

No Problem!

When I was ready to come back in the house I went toward the door and out of habit reached in my pocket for my keys. Exhausted and out of breath I can't find them...hmmmm.

The house is unlocked but I know that the keys are outside somewhere. I go get the spare key to the garage and look but don't find them inside. I got the spare car key to check inside where I grabbed my gloves.

Nope.

I begin to walk around where I have used the snowblower. Nope.

I begin to fear that they have fallen out and I have run over them sending them flying into the piles of snow I have made.

This is one of those times I am very thankful that I have BIG bright key chains on it!

Well they apparently they did go through the Monster of a snowblower as I eventually found them in the middle of the yard where I had not walked.

Another. 45. minutes. later.

I was afraid to pick them up and see what mangled mess would be left...

Amazingly there are only a few small scratches on the remote for the car and so far all of the keys I have tried work well.

Now today I need to tackle the car and getting that cleaned off....

I am tired....

2008-01-30T15:54:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had one of those conversations that lasts literally for days?

The Squirrel has literally told me every fact in his brain about planets, volcanoes and a certain foreign country that his Father is in right now.

For the last 4 days......nonstop......several times....over and over and over and.....

well you get the picture...

You can't tune him out either. If you do not respond in the right time frames he will say the same thing over and over raising his volume slightly each time. Followed with a harsh little comment of, "Geezs would it kill you to offer a simple OK? so I know you are listening???"

The speech that follows about respect isn't worth it because he will just start over the entire conversation about the planets etc because he is "not sure which parts you heard".

One way or another you will hear what he has to say...

So I might as well listen half heartedly the first time and throw in a "uh huh" and a "really" every couple of minutes.

In fact I am surprised this post turned out this organized because I have a tendency to type what I hear and he has talked nonstop since I picked him up from school...

Of course I am not as tired as a fellow employee is as she sleeps half of the day every day at work . The boss is aware and I am sure plans are in the works to fix this problem....but more on that a different day....

Wisdom and a word to the wise

2008-01-19T10:09:00.001-05:00

IF you date a married man and then he leaves his wife to date you.......

You are then dating a man who thinks it is OK to date other people while in a committed relationship.

Don't act surprised when it comes back to bite you in the end. You reap what you sow...

So if you want a relationship that works don't date the married man to begin with.

Just my thoughts...

Job Description?

2008-01-10T21:41:00.000-05:00

So I have a varied job description thus far...

I have learned phone etiquette for this particular business.
I have learned phone scripts and the most positive ways to phrase things
I have made phone calls
Practiced phone calls until my mouth was so dry I could barely speak
OK maybe that was a little bit of an exaggeration but I have made literally thousands of calls to the other employees I am training with
Today we figured out our new headsets and the little quirks they have.
We also put together one of the three desks we will be using as well as all three chairs. The other two desks will be in next Wednesday.

One of the really odd things is that I am now working at this new job with a girl I haven't seen since I was 8 or 9 years old. She lived next to me for a year or so when I was a kid. The last time she saw me she was 5 or 6. Really odd after all these years.

She has been asking me a lot of questions about God. She has been to church a few times but not anything that she would classify as a commitment. Seems to me that God really wanted me to have this job for more than one reason.

Man I feel old!

2007-12-31T22:45:00.000-05:00

I remember being a teenager and I couldn't wait to be 21 on New Year's Eve so I could go out and legally do what I wanted and stay out as late as I wanted without being grounded...

This year I am sad to inform you that I will be sleeping as the clock turns over to 2008. I worked today, I have no money and sleep is just more appealing at this point in my life.

But nonetheless I want to wish you a Happy New Year...Maybe I will post a few resolutions tomorrow that I won't keep past the first week.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T18:08:00.000-05:00

Remember the real reason for the day...

May the force be with you....

2007-12-22T20:36:00.000-05:00

So we have added a little Jedi Warrior to our house. Santa came early on Thursday night because he didn't want the new puppy for the Squirrel (on crack after 4 or 5 espressos) to get cold in the sleigh. Awww... So cute and cuddly and LOUD! He seems to be a Border Collie mix with small feet. They...errr....I mean Santa said he would only get to be maybe 30-35 lbs.

He is pictured here with a full belly after a hard morning of playing with Squirrel. We only let him sleep a few times and only about 15-30 minutes at a time. Last night his day and night hours where a little mixed up.

He is not fond of being alone. Oh and you know it! Tonight he only barked for a half hour before falling asleep.

Smart little sucker he is alright.

We have decided to go the age old route of Kennel training simply to save the carpets when we are not home or sleeping. He is only 12 weeks old. As he watches the other dogs he has figured out (for the most part) piddling outside. Of course he is what I call an excited piddler. When he gets too excited or happy he piddles a little on the floor but he tries to stop himself at least. On the other hand we will be VERY EXCITED when the "yard bombs" are actually outside in the yard and not in my bathroom, the hallway, the bedroom... well you get the picture.

We are anxious to get past this part of the potty training...house breaking....or whatever you call it so he can start sleeping with the Squirrel at night. The cat is actually still bigger than him at this point. Right now he is just too "leaky" and well he decides to play at night and actually tried to nurse on my sister's earlobes while she was sleeping...briefly sleeping at that point :o)

Puppy surprise at Christmas time sounded like such a good idea but of course the youngest dog I have ever had was a fully trained 2 1/2 year old lab. Well at least we have the next several days to work on this training thing.

Let it snow let it snow.....

2007-12-16T11:42:00.000-05:00

The snow is deep, 7 inches I believe, but we have not seen a snowplow yet on our road. Mr. X from this blog did come over and use the snowblower to dig us out so we could at least open the doors that had been blown shut.

Mr. X had to use the snowblower (by blowing a path) to get across the street.

Mom and Beau just called from the south and she was "upset" because it would not hit the 80 degree mark today....Mom who????

This is one of those times when I wish I still had the 4x4 Blazer that was totaled while parked on the street.

A snow emergency has shut down most of the city so today I hope to curl up in a blanket with some coffee and watch some movies on Lifetime.

For some reason I am really torn on this issue....

2007-12-09T19:29:00.000-05:00

Corcoran plea deal on trial in Chicago

By Rebecca S. Green

CHICAGO – Nothing was typical about the case of convicted quadruple-murderer Joseph E. Corcoran, but whether a plea offer made by the then-Allen County prosecutor was appropriate is now a matter to be decided by a federal appellate court.

Monday afternoon, Indiana Deputy Attorney General James Martin argued that Allen County Prosecutor Robert Gevers’ offer to withdraw the death penalty during plea negotiations was within his prosecutorial discretion.

Even if that offer came with the caveat that Corcoran give up his right to a jury trial and allow a judge to decide his fate.

A three-judge panel of the 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Chicago took up the case after Indiana Attorney General Steve Carter appealed a ruling by a federal judge overturning the death penalty, saying Gevers’ offer violated Corcoran’s constitutional rights.

The federal judge’s ruling was the latest step in years of wrangling over Corcoran’s death sentence after he was convicted of murdering his brother, his sister’s fiancé and two of his brother’s friends in July 1997.

Both sides had 30 minutes to present their arguments Monday, and as they spoke, the three judges – William J. Bauer, Ann Claire Williams and Diane Sykes – questioned the lawyers on their interpretations of the law and their arguments.

Gevers’ offer to withdraw the death penalty in exchange for a bench trial instead of a jury trial was no different than any other negotiation common when both sides try to hammer out plea agreements, Martin argued.

“So what was the actual harm to Corcoran by this offer,” Judge Williams asked Martin.

“There was none, your honor,” Martin replied, adding that had a judge decided his case, Corcoran could have been acquitted and escaped the death penalty in that way as well.

But Williams pushed Martin a bit on the issue, asking whether there is a limit to what constitutional rights prosecutors can get defendants to bargain away, even the right to a lawyer or the right against self-incrimination.

Missouri-based attorney Larry Komp, arguing for Corcoran as his court-appointed counsel, said Corcoran should not be penalized for exercising his right to a jury trial.

But Judge Bauer seemed to disagree.

“To say you can’t piecemeal (plea agreements) is to fly in the face of what’s been going on in every (negotiation) in the history of plea bargains,” Bauer said. “What case says you can’t do that?”

Williams again asked how Corcoran was harmed by Gevers’ offer and asked whether following Komp’s argument could lead all prosecutors to forgo seeking plea agreements.

Also at issue before the appellate court is whether Corcoran was competent to waive his rights to have a judge re-evaluate his sentence – a process known as post-conviction relief.

The federal judge upheld an earlier ruling by the Indiana Supreme Court that found Corcoran made a rational choice when he decided not to seek such a review.

Komp said three medical experts found Corcoran suffered from delusions, possibly paranoid schizophrenia.

When Corcoran waived his right to have a judge re-evaluate his sentence, saying he believed execution was an appropriate punishment for the murders of four people, Corcoran was trying to end his own agony.

But Martin argued that the doctors who evaluated Corcoran believed he understood what the process involved and what the consequence would be if he decided not to pursue it.

There is no time frame for the federal judges to issue a ruling, which could come in as little as a few days or take as long as a year.

End of article

First off let me tell you this....he IS crazy! He has since come out and admitted to killing his own parents in 1992, a crime of which he was acquitted. Without outing myself too much here I can tell you that I went to High School with him in a small northern town. He was one of those kids that you either hung with him or you avoided him at all costs...he wasn't violent, just strange. There was something about him that made you stay away from him because he was "different" or dark if you will.

Now don't get me wrong we had our own little small town version of hierarchy of Goth/Punk/Stoner/Preppy/Jock/Geeks etc. But Joe was different and everyone knew it.

I think he was a young teen when he "accidentally" shot a friend in the leg (grazing it) while they were hunting. No charges on this one because the friend said it was an accident as well.

I don't know about all the legal wrangling that has gone on in the last 10 years since this conviction or even what has happened in his life since the acquittal of murdering both his parents and then going to school like nothing happened. I waver back and forth on the death penalty in general because I don't believe it is applied fairly or evenly in this country. Yes some cases deserve it...but is it right to let the State take a life? I was upset about the no smoking thing because I didn't like the government having that much control. I no longer smoke and I did love being able to go out and not smell like an ashtray when I came home but it just seems...intrusive. I don't like that some people are told at their place of employment to say "Happy Holidays" and are forbidden from saying "Merry Christmas".

I have never intended this blog to political in any way...I just have some fundamental concepts in my life that I have been reevaluating for the last ...oh.... 5 years or so. Being unemployed for so long left me with time to think about some things.

However I am going to be starting the training for the new job this week...I am excited and well beyond ready to get this going!

2 posts in one weekend! Must be a record of some sorts for me lately.

The Princess Bride

2007-12-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

This movie was released 20 years ago? Could it really be that long ago? I remember seeing it when it was released in ...gulp....1987.

I still to this day think it is one of my favorite movies ever. In fact I just sat in my bedroom and exchanged quotes with my sister...does that make me a geek?

Well then I guess I am OK with that because it will forever be one of my favorites. It helps me connect with my silly side and the hope that true love does exist. I know it takes work but I know there are true gentlemen out there amongst the Prince Humperdinks of the world.

YEAH!!

2007-11-26T15:43:00.001-05:00

The simple fact that I have been offered a job makes me jump for joy!!!

Yes ladies and gentlemen I will soon be among the working force again!

More useless information...

2007-11-24T17:55:00.000-05:00

As of 2006, 200 million blogs were left without updates

Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.

Up to 25% of hospital keyboards carry the MRSA infection.

"Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states.

Toilet paper was invented in 1857.

And now courtesy of Guinness Book of World Records

Ken Edwards of Glossop, Derbyshire, England ate 36 cockroaches in one minute on the set of The Big Breakfast, London, England on March 5, 2001.

Bernie Barker (USA) ( b. July 31, 1940), a regular performer at Club LeBare, Miami Beach, Florida, USA, began his career in 2000 at the age of 60 as a way to get in shape after recovering from prostate cancer, and worked as a stripper until he sadly passed away in March 2007. During his career, he won over 30 contests.

The fastest time to eat a 12" pizza is 2 min 19.91 sec by Tom Waes (Belgium) in Ghent, Belgium on December 2, 2006.

If I had a job I wouldn't have time to do the research on all these stupid things...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T15:58:00.001-05:00

I promise to try to update more often but my time has been consumed with the job search!

I enjoyed a relaxed Thanksgiving dinner with my sister et all. I didn't know that a holiday could be like this....great food, relaxing and well I guess we have always had interesting conversations but they were quiet and civilized today?!?

More coming soon but a football game is calling my name...

If only...

2007-11-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

If only the job I need was marked like this.

I am getting frustrated but I can say that I have been
turned down by some of the finest places in
Fort Wayne.

Still looking....

2007-11-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

Just in case you are so inclined....

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T18:12:00.001-04:00

So here is the Halloween post that everyone loved and linked to before so I will make this a Halloween tradition...

From the days of Old....

Rusty...

2007-10-30T19:21:00.000-04:00

So I am a little rusty at this whole concept of flirting. Only a couple parts of it really:

1. How do I know when someone is flirting with me?

2. How do I flirt back or start the flirtation?

OK so they are big parts but I really am clueless!

INSERT DISCLAIMER HERE: I am not judging anyone by any means. I am simply trying to figure out how I want to walk out this being single thing.

As I have stated before I was not a Christian when Big Red and I met and married. Flirting is different when you are not a believer. Flirting is REALLY different when you are married...

When you are married flirting keeps things interesting so to speak. But there is no line that can't be crossed when you are married...flirting leads to other things and that is great ...if you are married. At least in my world...

When I wasn't a Christian the same lines were not there to cross or not cross...(sorry sis if that is TMI) I was living for me and not God.

So now that you know basically where my boundaries are set...any suggestions on how to flirt?

How do I even let a guy know I am interested? I don't want to be the one asking him out. I want someone to pursue me for a change.

A compliment

2007-10-27T17:34:00.000-04:00

So I received a compliment from my Sister.

She looked at me and smiled as I was carrying a TV set back to the "fort" in her room to set up the GameCube for the squirrel. I asked what she was smiling about and she said she was thinking of something.

And then she said IT.

She said, "You know you turned into the cool Aunt."

I had to think about it. I always said I wanted to be the cool Aunt when she had kids (well and when that other guy we have to call a brother had children).

I have taken him after school to places to buy used games for the new system with his Birthday Money. Let him set it up in my room and actually played a game to show him how to launch the BeyBlades (don't ask). Today I took him to buy the memory card for the system so he can save games and we picked up another used game for only $4.99.

See Aunt One4JC knows where to get deals on used games because Uncle Big Red had almost every gaming system created at the time and at least 30 games for each one. Hrmph...issues beyond adultery...no...never!

I also helped him set up the "Fort"area with the pull out bed thingy, the TV and GameCube so he can hide out and play without disturbing anyone else and he can have his "own space". While I can't take credit for the concept of the "fort" (that would be his Mom's idea) somehow I am the one who made it real to him and now he feels safe enough to go in the "fort".

Of course he just ran from the room because there was a "centipede looking thing type bug in there!!!!!!"

Even "big boys" have there moments...

The hunt is STILL on

2007-10-23T19:57:00.000-04:00

The job hunt is an ongoing process....

Sigh......

I had 1 interview today and another on Thursday with a different company.

Right now my job is...finding a job...at least that's what Dr. Phil would say.

The thing I like right now is that I can sleep in until 7:00am, take the Squirrel to school and grab a cup of coffee before I start the search. I sure don't miss the phone calls at 5:00am when someone called in sick and the mad rush to get there before the first child arrived.

I do however need a job so I can move out and give my nephew his own room. Not to mention that the money would come in very handy with Christmas approaching.

Oh Wait! We just had our Christmas and Thanksgiving combined up at the lake in a restaurant because Mom and Beau are leaving for the south of the country this Thursday. This Thursday. I am not sure when they return but I am thinking someone might have mentioned April?

I still want a job so I can move out and feel like a grown up!

Some interesting facts I have learned on the World Wide Web:

Earthworms have five hearts

SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below

More than 90% of plane crashes have survivors.

Watching television can act as a natural painkiller for children

Iceland has the highest concentration of broadband users in the world.

The two most famous actors who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” in the cigarette ads died of lung cancer.

Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies

The largest pumpkin weighed 377 pounds.

On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

Nondairy creamer is flammable.

More American workers (18%) call sick on Friday than any other day of the week. Tuesday has the lowest percent of absenteeism (11%).

Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The average person will spend two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn't wear pants.

Tokyo has had 24 recorded instances of people either killed or receiving serious skull fractures while bowing to each other with the traditional Japanese greeting.

Ode to the Bird...

2007-10-22T14:21:00.000-04:00

From the area of Indiana this article caught my attention on the Associated Press:

Parrot mimics alarm, saves family

Associated Press

MUNCIE – A noisy parrot that likes to imitate sounds helped save a man and his son from a house fire by mocking a smoke alarm, the bird’s owner says.

Shannon Conwell, 33, said he and his 9-year-old son fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. They awoke about 3 a.m. Friday to find their home on fire after hearing the family’s Amazon parrot, Peanut, imitating a fire alarm.

“He was really screaming his head off,” Conwell said.

The smoke alarm had activated, but it was the bird’s call that caught Conwell’s attention. “I grabbed my son and my bird, and got out of the house,” he said.

The fire destroyed the home’s dining room, kitchen and bedroom, Muncie fire officials said. It remains under investigation.

Aside from Peanut, Conwell said the fact that he and his son fell asleep on the couch helped save them. They may not have heard the alarm or the bird had they been asleep in their bedrooms.

Conwell said he runs an air conditioner and a breathing machine in his bedroom that drown out a lot of noise around the house.

Can you imagine? I am not a big fan of Big Birds being in houses and my sister would have a coronary if I even suggested it... It's not that I don't like birds I just get a little nervous in enclosed places with them...not the same as my fear of bats...those are just N-A-S-T-Y.

With that being said...With the insurance money from the fire I am POSITIVE that bird would have the nicest cage and treats I could find!

On another note...

I found this trailer on YouTube for the famous Alfred Hitchcock movie The Birds.

I will warn you that it is mostly him talking but around the 4 minute mark a live bird makes an appearance and by around 4 1/2 minutes I was shuttering and my cat was batting at the computer screen...so if you do not like birds...DO NOT watch this video clip.

What happens when she gets bored?

2007-10-19T15:11:00.001-04:00

While that is not my hair that is a good representation of the amount I took off yesterday.

Yes it is true the hair has come off.

I was bored and ready for a change so it resulted in me losing 7-8 inches of hair. When I went into my stylist she reminded me that I had not been there since October 7th...LAST YEAR! Yes it is true I had been cutting my own bangs and just letting the hair go wild for the last year. Part was because I haven't had time recently and part is because I haven't had a style I liked enough to keep up with it.

I literally lost that much hair but also I look like I lost 20 lbs and 5 years off my age! It is ironic because I took in a picture of Lisa Rinna thinking that my face was too round for it but I like the messy look. My Stylist almost fell over and the stylist next to me said, "Rock on! Own the cut!"

I told her I would like it a little longer but gave her free reign but reminding her that I have an interview next week...Oh yes did I mention that yet?

Several years ago I noticed my hair had gotten a little natural wave to it. Odd as it has been stick straight my entire life. Well with this cut it has curled up and looks awesome!

Someone even commented that I had gotten highlights as well...no but the gray is positioned in such a way that they look like blond streaks. Once I get a J-O-B I will go ahead and splurge to get a few highlights as well.

Well I need to help finish the final prep work for the Birthday Party that is happening here tonight. Nope not me but the Squirrel! He had me awake by 5:15 AM singing "Happy Birthday to me" to the tune of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas"?? He was a little excited to say the least!

Michael Jackson has Lupus?

2007-10-15T08:33:00.000-04:00

Oh good grief! Say it isn't so!

According to published reports, some of which actually cite the Lupus foundation, good old Wacko Jacko has Lupus.

What is Lupus? Click here. Or here.

The disease I have is called Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome.
The thing in my blood is called Lupus Anticoagulant.
They are closely related, but not exactly the same. A lot of the research overlaps.

I do NOT want this person to become the spokesman for MY disease!

People already have a hard time believing that Lupus is a real disease and now we have one of the most famous lunatics in modern history representing us.

Great.

I am hard pressed to think of a worse spokesman...

Almost a year ago....

2007-10-14T17:34:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it has been almost a year since I got back from Jamaica!
It was one of the most difficult weeks in my life yet at the same time the most rewarding, meaningful, fulfilling and special weeks of my life as well.

I know off and on I have talked about how much I miss being there. I have come to the conclusion that I miss the closeness I felt to God and to my friends more than anything else. Yes I really enjoyed building the entertainment center , the experiences and the views at the waterfalls.

I also miss seeing the smiling little faces of the children at the home. I think because we went as a group of only women the children bonded to us more than other groups. It took a while to warm up to us but once they chose you it was over they had your heart.

One little boy kept coming over and touching my arm, looking at it and saying, "Whoa!" After several days of doing this I asked. Apparently the children had never seen someone as white as me before. Yes Caucasian people had been there MANY times but I am the palest of pale white colors. In the winter you can hold up a piece of paper to my legs and compare the color with a degree of certainty.

I miss being able to make time with God and 9 other women every morning to just set in His presence and pray. That week marked the changing point in my life. God watched out for me (and others in the group) in more ways than you can imagine. The first night there "someone" tried to break into our house in the middle of the night...I slept through it but not everyone did. That in itself is a miracle...I have to feel safe to sleep and the fact that I was not awakened helped me feel safe enough to sleep the rest of the week. I did have a small TIA down there that passed very quickly...of course on the morning I was speaking at the Bible college.

Tomorrow I am meeting one of the ladies from the trip for coffee. There are also several others from the trip that I would not hesitate to call. The friendships formed on this trip will last a lifetime.

Kind of ironic considering how I argued with God all the way through the process, right up to the point on the airport runway when I looked at the friend next to me and said, "Oh crap. I'm going to Jamaica!"

Amazing Freedom

2007-10-10T14:26:00.000-04:00

I stumbled on this video today and all of my memories of the conference came flooding back to me... I need to remember in the midst of the storm that I am still free in Christ.

My agenda

2007-10-08T15:22:00.001-04:00

My agenda for the next week or two (hopefully not that long) is to find a job.

I am not really picky at this point because I just need to find a job and move out so I can be a grown-up again. Ideally I would rather use my office skills rather than my kid type skills.

I have a few leads but nothing promising enough to get my hopes up.

I do have more to say but I need to get back on the hunt for the elusive Greenback Bill...He is an endangered species around here right now.

From generation to generation...

2007-10-06T18:11:00.001-04:00

So my lovely sister and I introduced the Squirrel (aka my nephew) to the movie "Goonies". At first it was like pulling teeth to get him to sit down for this movie...he whined...he complained...he almost threw a full fledged fit but stopped just as the map was pulled out in the movie. Soon he was fully enthralled in the movie...and loved it!

I remember seeing this movie in the theater as somehow my sister convinced my Mom to let me go see it with her. This became one of my favorite movies. I had the poster, the folders for school and envied the kids lucky enough to get the lunch box.

This was the movie everyone in my generation loved. Some were too old for E.T. and some of us were too young to see the Star Wars movies but we all loved The Goonies. I think the Goonies was so popular because it was ever person's dream regardless of age. To stumble upon a get rich quick plan that actually works and saves the day while becoming a hero to all (including parents), catching the bad guys and finding a girlfriend/boyfriend was the ultimate dream.

This movie is one of the greatest ever and I am really glad that after all the teeth pulling to get the Squirrel to actually watch it that he ended up really loving it.

The cleaning frenzy

2007-10-04T12:35:00.000-04:00

Due to me losing my job...why do they call it that? I didn't lose it...I know right where it is, they are the ones that lost it went... crazy and decided that 1 mistake was not acceptable...

Anyway...what was I saying?

Due to some unforeseen circumstances Mom, Beau, myself and an Aunt have been cleaning, sorting and hauling all of my Mom's JUNK out of this house. This has been interesting to say the least. At last count they have taken 4 trailers of stuff out of here of my Mother's things...Trailer like the size of a U-haul truck type trailer.

And did I mention that it did NOT include any furniture...just paperwork and all of the stuff she has hoarded all of these years.

The ironic quotes of the week so far have come from the Aunt:

"I have known your Mom for over 60 years and I have just now realized just how much stuff she hoards!"

She went on to tell me how apparently my Mom has also been complaining to her about the house being a mess and how it is all MY fault for the way it looks.

"One4JC you do not even have a fourth of the items in this house! It took you ten minutes to clean your stuff out of the living room and days for her to get her stuff out!"

However I am excited because I now have a dresser in my room and we cleaned all of her things out of my closet so I have places to put things.

It is no joke when I say we have been working nonstop since Saturday getting this place cleared of her stuff and getting things more settled around here.

And the real kicker is this:
Beau walks in yesterday morning and has the nerve to say,"So have you gotten a job yet?"

Silence.

I stumble out a "No not yet I have been a little busy around here helping you guys."

He then goes on to tell me he thought maybe something would have fallen into my lap by now etc.

Crickets chirping.....................................................................

So off the computer I must go so that I can look for a job and be a productive member of society again...LOL

Not so Priceless...

2007-10-02T09:54:00.001-04:00

Working 60 + hours a week

Working the last 4 Saturdays and part of a Sunday as well

Being paid a salary for 40 hours

Not being paid well for those hours

Working in a classroom 7 hours a day with children because my board won't let me hire a replacement for the teacher they had me fire

AND trying to be the boss at the same time

Making 1 mistake...

That was corrected before any ill effects had taken place

Not so Priceless...

NOW...

Not being able to move into the long awaited apartment

going back on the hunt for a job

Uncertainty

Changes

Patience

Waiting on God

BUSY...BUSY....BUSY

2007-09-27T21:31:00.001-04:00

I'll be back soon....moving, packing and working are keeping me very very busy!!!

The Happy Dance

2007-09-22T19:52:00.000-04:00

The Happy Dance...

Things are looking up right now...

I passed my test this morning! I am now certified to not only serve food in any restaurant in this fair land of ours but also be the manager of any restaurant I want...well provided they would hire me LOL!

Kind of ironic that I went to college so that I could have the possibility of a career in a field that did not involve flipping burgers and now this new law tells me I have to know the information anyway.

It is official... I have signed the lease on the new apartment today! The "BIG MOVE" is scheduled for next Saturday. The good news is because of the last move and how it happened most of my things are already packed and still in the garage at this point. If you feel the need to help me out drop me an email and we can set things up :o)

Once I get the replacement hired for the teacher that I "let go" things should be smoother again at work. It amazes me that things are either really smooth or extremely rocky at work there is no middle ground.

While things are looking up for me, a friend of mine has just discovered her husband's adultery. If you think of it say a little prayer for her.

Whew!

2007-09-18T19:29:00.001-04:00

These last 2 1/2 weeks have been enough to make me want to start smoking again!

Here are the highlights (or lowlights depending on your perspective):

I have written up an employee...suspended her...and now at the request of my supervisors fired her because of her actions. Talk about a nice start to the day at 6:30 am!

I have come precariously close to losing a major funding source. I think I managed to pull that one out of the crapper in the nick of time.

I am in the midst of completing a 9 hour online training so that I can test out of it on Friday.

I informed my Mom today that an apartment has been chosen and the move in date is a week from Saturday! I am trying to talk her into selling me the washer and dryer from the current house to take with me but....

I have worked several 12 hour days (oh the joys of being on salary!), worked the last 3 Saturdays and one Sunday (for a few hours) and been told that I needed to put in more overtime to get things done.

Hmmmmmmm....

The thing that bugs me about this is I could go to a Department store and make what I do now (if not more) and only work 40 hours a week. BUT this happens to be my passion and where God wants me right now.

Ugh!

2007-09-17T21:39:00.001-04:00

This pretty well sums up my day.

Picture Day at work...

Trying to get that many children to smile...

Bullheaded, obstinate employee...

Board meetings...

Tuesday HAS TO BE better....

Floor Plans???

2007-09-16T21:25:00.000-04:00

I have looked at so many floor plans that they are all starting to look alike. I actually filled out an application today. Of course after we went through all the items I required in an apartment and the price range I was looking to be inside of she informed me that they only had the more expensive model on the first floor. This would be one of my requirements...first floor. I hate moving chairs, beds and desks upstairs. Not to mention I will grasping for help because of the short notice I fear I will have to get out.

I have noticed that many floor plans for a one bedroom apartment are very very similar. There is not a great deal of different opportunities in how to arrange a layout but they are almost all carbon copies with different prices and locations. I will be making a decision soon...hopefully this week.

A few guilty pleasures

2007-09-15T21:48:00.000-04:00

I have a few shows that I hate to miss the new episodes. I am a die hard Law and Order fan and Law and Order SVU as well. However I never really liked Criminal Intent or Trial by Jury for some reason. Maybe it was just me being too set in my ways and too fond of the styles of the originals.

I also am one of the last remaining "first season through the present" ER fans. I know none of the original cast members are left but I mean come on the show has been on for 12-13 seasons? Look at how many of these people have gone on to film careers, other shows or are just too stinking rich to have to work again. I think one of the reason I have held on so long is because of the cliffhangers from season to season.

I used to be absolutely addicted to the show Friends. Of course when I became a Christian I started to have serious issues with some of the shows but.... I held on until the last episode out of almost some sick obligation. One year I did have to tape the season finale and watch it several weeks later. It was the season that ended with the birth of Ross and Rachel's Baby. I had lost the second twin that week and had to have the D and C. I was not in the mood to see that show at that time.

I do happen to be a huge fan of the Biggest Loser. For some reason it inspires me to eat healthier and walk the stairs instead of riding the escalator.

I used to watch the Real World all the time on MTV. I even tried out once and got down to the last 100 people they were considering for the season. Nope never made it. The older I got the less interested I was in watching it.

Some of the older shows that used to hold my attention were Murphy Brown, Gilligan's Island and of course the Little Rascals. As a kid I remember acting out trying to get off the island with other children in the neighborhood. Of course this was in between Thundercats, Smurfs and Emergency show reenactments.

So what show did you watch?

Thoughts for today

2007-09-15T10:37:00.000-04:00

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

The road to success is always under construction.

Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!

The fun this week

2007-09-14T21:53:00.000-04:00

Work was NOT fun this week! I had issues with employees. I had issues with funding sources. I had issues with my office.

I also am trying desperately to locate and lease an apartment within my price range. Mom and Beau have been here almost every day. I have managed to avoid them purely by coincidence. I have put in so many hours at work that by the time I get home at 7:00pm or later they are gone for the day.

In fact I will spend most of the day tomorrow at work as well trying to play catch up from being in a classroom. I had teachers suspended, sick AND in the hospital this week. I do have an appointment to look at an apartment at 4:00pm and then probably to the laundromat to do the daycare laundry for the week.

The sooner I can get out of this house and into my own apartment a lot of my stress will be gone. I need to feel independent again...that is something that Big Red took from me in the divorce.

Once I get past this month at work and get my staffing settled a bit it will be less stressful there as well. What with Picture Day coming up, a retirement of an employee and appointing a new Assistant Director all this month it is no wonder things are a little tense in the building...

I never did manage to get a motorcycle this summer. I seem to have run out of time as far as the weather is concerned.

As you see I played with the layout a bit. I am not done but I am growing tired so alas maybe I can get back to it this weekend.

Actions have consequences...

2007-09-13T21:15:00.001-04:00

Actions have consequences even if you apologize. An employee this week learned this the hard way where I work. Yes One4Jc is fairly laid back and easy going BUT I do have my limits. She is the first person to push me far enough for serious consequences. Being "written up" is not good but an actual unpaid suspension is a sure sign that you have pushed too far.

She is appealing the suspension but it doesn't look good for her. Several of my supervisors thought she should have been fired over the incident not just suspended.

My actions have consequences as well. I missed a deadline and I am paying the penalty for it. It is repairable but time consuming. I got too caught up in enrolling new students, staffing issues and other paper work and the deadline whooshed up on me today and the items are not ready. The kicker is that I got a letter of "recognition" of my mistake today...before the actual deadline had passed...so did my boss. Whoops.

The last actual day off I had was Labor Day...I have been working through the weekend to play catch up on all the things I have missed by being bogged down with other stuff like ...oh say....staffing classrooms. Looks like I will work through this weekend as well.

And my Mom wants me to get this apartment when???????

The dreaded temper tantrum

2007-09-08T10:36:00.000-04:00

I know you have all seen a temper tantrum...a fit, if you will.

Here are a few definitions:

a loss of mental balance or composure, esp. by an outburst of anger or irritation; a violent demonstration of rage or frustration;

a sudden burst of ill temper....a display of bad temper; "he had a fit"; "she threw a tantrum"; "he made a scene"

Being in the business of daycare I have seen more than my fair share over the years.

I am sure you can visualize a child stomping feet, crying, yelling, shaking and maybe even throwing himself on the floor to spin, shake, spit and just generally writhe around on the floor.

Those I have seen...

I believe I witnessed my first adult temper tantrum this week...maybe we can call it a hissy fit.

When did it become acceptable to throw a fit at work?

I would post the details for the sake of venting but I wonder if she has discovered this blog somehow on the enormous web.

I am intimidated by her now. I never thought twice about it until this incident. She did not hurt me or threaten me but she approached me in an aggressive way that made me cringe on the inside. I don't think she will last much longer...if she even comes back...I don't know...

Just rambling I guess...

Oh what a morning...

2007-09-02T13:32:00.000-04:00

Not for the weak stomached...

Yesterday afternoon I was summoned across the street to gather up the littlest dog at my sister's humble household. She had a seizure and the little fellow wouldn't leave her alone.

So he awakened me nice and early this morning to go outside for his "daily business" as my grandma would have called it. Not a problem he went out...

I proceeded to check the email, get ready for church and dink around the house...well I dinked a little too long I guess.

I am walking through the living room to get my keys to take the lad back before church and I interrupted him "doing business" on the living room floor. I yelled his name and he stopped... tried to run away but dropped little presents across the living room during his great escape.

I guess once the process is started...

My lovely cat is following me down the hall as she isn't thrilled that we have a house guest. They get along but she doesn't like competing for my attention. I guess we have been alone together too long. When we have a guest human or animal she sticks really close. REALLY REALLY CLOSE. I tripped over her at least 6 times since he came to visit.

Back to the story...where was I? Dog pooping...cat following..dog running leaving a trail...oh yes!

As I yell his name I stop at the entrance of the living room and the smell hits me...then the smell hits the cat and the cat starts throwing up! I try to grab my cat and take her to a non carpeted place...but she runs.................... and continues to puke. In different spots down the hallway before I manage to pick her up.

Let's recap:
* Running late for church
* Dog poops
* One4jc yells
* Cat pukes

Any guesses???
I walked across the living room, grabbed my keys, grabbed the dog and took him home all the while praying that my Mom did not show up between now and when I got home from church.

So I went to church arriving only a few minutes late and came home to clean it all up after church.

Wow makes me wonder what this afternoon has in store...

Amazing

2007-09-01T19:48:00.000-04:00

It never ceases to amaze me how deep and unconditional God's love is for me. It doesn't matter how much I screw up or how bad the mistake is that I make He forgives me and loves me. And trust me there have been some huge mistakes! There was a time that I was not even concerned about what God thought never mind trying to live for Him...I was living for myself or what ever guy happened to stick around long enough for a relationship.

But....

When God brought me to my knees He did it with love. I had no where else to turn...Rock bottom is not comfortable...but when I looked up I saw Him waiting to pick me up.

Right now this is currently one of my favorite songs. I love the imagery that was placed with the song. Whether I knew it or not God was right beside me...and always will be...

If it could go wrong....

2007-08-29T07:49:00.000-04:00

What a week and it is only Weds. morning! I stayed at work until almost 9:00pm last night trying to get some uninterrupted work done. I did get a lot accomplished but man I'm tired today!

We have had several children pushing the limits at work this week and just lots of little stuff that has snowballed to make an UGH kind of week already.

I sent a child home yesterday after he bit 2 teachers and myself...scratched 3 different teachers, threw toys at other children and slapped a child so hard it left a red hand print on their cheek. He's 4. Old enough to not get away with this stuff.

Of course we have had the general fevers, runny noses creeping crud kind of stuff...oh and Hand, Foot and Mouth.

Lots of paperwork to be completed. Annual inspections to be completed and returned to the correct agencies, cleaning carpets in the "new" room and getting it set up and organized for use.

I have a cover to build for an A/C unit, testing to be done on several levels for staff because it was deemed "unreadable" as the bottom 3 millimeters (LOL) were cut off the bottom of some of the pages....I tell you they have to find something to issue a citation for don't they?

I will be running one of the corrections pages downtown to save time today and then back to work I go...I am VERY ready for this 3 day weekend.

Yet another new experience...

2007-08-26T11:48:00.000-04:00

Last night was awful! Yesterday was not the greatest day ever but I had no idea what the night had in store.

I am a person who on occasion has nightmares. They have gotten much better since I have grown older and well... all those years of counseling have helped tremendously.

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep to begin with because I could not get my mind to "turn off" for the night.

It seemed like I had only been asleep minutes when I sat straight up in bed with THAT feeling in my stomach.

You see I had been having a horrid dream that I found to be truly upsetting.

I woke up so upset by this dream that before I was even conscience I found myself running to the bathroom.

Now a little side note here would be that I detest vomit. Once upon a time I was so skinny that I was constantly accused of having an eating disorder. I would laugh at them...I hate puking that much...no amount of weight loss could coax me to purge.

Of course after the "event" I felt fine. I couldn't go back to sleep because I was scared to have the dream again but I felt fine.

I basically have been awake since 4am and have been eating things slowly just in case but so far no problems what so ever.

I did skip church today so that I could try to sleep in but that didn't work. I will be doing a load of laundry so that my nephew will not get the "kitty sniffles" tonight when he sleeps over and then I am off to a softball game with the young lad later this afternoon.

I pray for good sleep tonight as missing work tomorrow to sleep all day is not really an option.

So busy...

2007-08-25T17:53:00.000-04:00

I have been very busy at work trying to get everything in place for the new school year which starts on Monday.

We are adding an additional classroom which means waiting for the room to be available. It became ours late Friday afternoon. This of course means I will be cleaning carpets on Monday morning and trying to get materials etc moved by Weds. at the latest.

For this coming year I have enrolled at least 10 new children into our little center. Let me tell you that is a lot of paperwork! I believe we may have killed several trees in the process.

I also had my review at the new job...I don't know anything yet but I hope to receive word soon on if there is a raise in my near future.

As for this house thing....I think that if I purchase my Mom's house that I am living in I will regret it. I think she will always be in it...I will never have any privacy...it will be held over my head and she will think somehow I will be ripping her off. She actually asked my sister how much money I make. Growing up there were 3 absolutely taboo things you did not ask anyone:

1. How much do you weigh?
2. How did you vote in the last election?
3. How much money do you make?

So far since meeting and marrying Beau she has violated all of these plus some... she seems to under the impression that I am lying about my finances. I want to stand up and yell, "I WORK IN DAYCARE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

I will never be rich in this field.

That is an understatement.

I am seriously looking into renting an apartment. Starting over will be hard but eventually it is something I need to do...plus I don't think she would EVER have all her stuff out of this house. I think having a place that is all my own with all of my own things will be the final thing I need to get my self confidence back. Don't get me wrong I have come a long way since Big Red and I separated and then divorced. I am not even a glimpse of the shell I was back then. But there is still more to be done in my spirit.

Anyway I hope when things settle down a bit I will be back to posting more regularly.

And so it goes...

2007-08-22T22:38:00.000-04:00

So I am continuing the interviewing process...I have a full time person in mind that is only waiting for the board approval but I am still looking for the part time afternoon person...It would be so much easier if I could just throw them in a classroom and see what they do but Noooooooo that would violate so many rules...LOL

Changes are every where

2007-08-19T20:59:00.000-04:00

When I was a child every couple weeks or so my Dad and I (or the family) would be driving somewhere and we would go by a junkyard. Sometimes the same one... sometimes a random one.

My Dad would always joke that he would be getting my first car from this junkyard or that one. Kind of ironic that my first car was only 4 years younger than myself. But I understand why they did that...in the 70's they made cars like tanks. It also kept me close to home as it only got 12 miles to the gallon. Being in the country nothing was closer than that so I would dig through the couch cushions to come up with the $0.69 I needed for a gallon of gas.

I was thinking about this as I drove to the origins of One4jc Land this weekend for a birthday party. OK I drove to a little neighboring town for the party and detoured on my way home so I could go past the house I grew up in.

We used to have a HUGE evergreen tree in the front yard and this little sprout of a tree that wasn't even big enough to climb. I used to ride the streets of this little town on my bike from dawn to dusk with no fear. We lived next to a tiny green house that was the home of (what I believed to be) the oldest man alive. This little one bedroom house could have fit inside our house....twice!

This is also the house that most of the abuse occurred or at least started. It seems to be frozen in moments of time in my mind. Occasionally I drive by but I really have to go out of my way to see this little town.

I have seen the Post Office move to a new location, the school (yes singular) get new playground equipment, new housing additions pop up and many other things over the years.

This time when I drove through town I noticed the old evergreen was gone and the tree was almost too big to try to climb. The little grocery store where I got candy is torn down as is the little green house.

My Mom recently sent me an email telling me that an old neighbor was asking about my sister and I. She made it seem sinister in some way. She refused to give this old neighbor our contact information. I wonder if she is still trying to "preserve the family image"?

Life changes. Changes happen whether you want them to or not.

Oddly enough I am glad the old house has new windows, a fenced in back yard and a converted garage so that it looks different. Now maybe the house that was in my nightmares for so long will never appear to someone else in their dreams... well at least this is helping put some of those final parts of my life to rest. Again.

Just rambling I guess...

Gas Prices

2007-08-17T21:18:00.001-04:00

So the price of gas went up again...

A trip down memory lane

2007-08-15T21:58:00.000-04:00

I remember very little about my junior high and early high school years. I have blocked most of it out as it was a very dark time in my life....

BUT.... I do remember going on a few Youth Group excursions to see concerts in far away cities...well sometimes they were only a day trip. I remember the first time I saw DC Talk in concert was in Dayton Ohio when I was at a 3 day conference/youth rally.

And if that doesn't take you back to the 80's then I am sure that one of my other favorites from that same rally will. I LOVE Whiteheart! The first time I heard this song about forgiveness it was a totally new concept to me. I grew up in a house where everything was held over your head. To this day I am still reminded by my Mom of the time I spilled a quart of paint on the carpet and how they didn't have enough money to go buy more paint because it was a special color etc etc etc etc etc...

The little dialog he has before the song really helped me to understand what forgiveness was about for the first time. Of course it took another 14 years before the concept of God's love really sunk in but nonetheless here is one of my other early favorites.

My Legacy?

2007-08-14T20:32:00.000-04:00

Since the divorce I have been struggling with the idea of not having a child. You have to understand that when I was a child I would stuff baby dolls under my shirt so that I could pretend to be a "Mommy". For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mom. A Mommy...

My current last name has had a few not so desirable people associated with it. I would love to make sure "the name" has a child of God as a legacy. I want to leave my own legacy as I am sure everyone does. This child doesn't have to look like me, talk like me, be like me but I want a child to pass on my legacy.

Through the song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman that I heard (with a new perspective) at the recent Women of Faith conference I have come to discover that I am leaving a legacy. It just doesn't look like I thought it would.

I am leaving a legacy by teaching and directing at a daycare. I am leaving a legacy by living my life for God through the good times and the bad. No matter what I do I am a living witness for my faith and for God. I have had many people comment to me about how I handled the divorce... how I handled losing my children...the death of my Dad... the abuse as a child that I endured...etc etc etc.

Those things have made me who I am today and that is part of the legacy I leave. Just being me and not giving up on God when it would have been so easy to do.

....

....

....

Although adoption is not out of the question and I am by no means giving up hope that someday I will have children. I am just accepting my lot in life and becoming content with where God has placed me for this moment in time.

I have a new(er) computer!

2007-08-13T20:00:00.000-04:00

So after fighting with my old computer and battling a virus (and being off line for almost a month) I am back!!!!

My computer guru sister has assembled a new computer system for me and after much debugging, defragmenting and fine tuning I am finally up and running! I think she got me back online to help deal with the REALLY ODD emails that our Mommy Dearest has been sending :o)

I have so much to say but I will start slow and catch you (all 4 readers I have) up over the next several days.

THE UN-ANNIVERSARY:

So earlier this month I would have had my 6th wedding anniversary. It happened to correspond with the Women of Faith conference this year. This helped tremendously. The theme was Amazing Freedom and that is what I was trying to grasp onto as this day rolled closer.

I am Free.

I am free of Big Red. I am free of the pain he has brought into my life. I am free to live my life according to God's will. I am free to date. I am free to hold onto God tightly as my Rock and source of courage and strength. I am free to be me!

It is a lot easier to type that out than live that out. But I try.

I have been reading a lot in the Message version of the Bible lately. This has caught my eye:

2 Corinthians 5:17

16-20Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you.

It is hard to be a light when the "F" word abounds...

2007-08-09T18:40:00.000-04:00

I have learned many things while sitting at a strange place checking my email.

One of which is that teens swear....a lot....

They can swear and put some of the military men I have known in my life to shame.

I do have many many many things to post about but until my computer is internet ready you will have to wait with patience...

I just passed my First wedding anniversary as a divorced woman....Women of Faith was awesome....I am hiring at work again....we are opening a new room to deal with our high numbers of new students....

But alas until my computer guru from yonder visits you will need to wait...

Still alive and kicking!

2007-07-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

I am still alive and kicking! I am finding it hard to post as I sporatically check my email....I have discovered I am entirely to dependant on the internet!

One long day down...two more to go!

2007-07-23T19:36:00.000-04:00

So because the infant teacher is out and I am so dang picky about who I will let in the infant room I had to be at work at 7:00am. I was burned before at another center by a very mellow lady who handled the stress well and one day "snapped" and shook a baby. So after all the police reports and phone calls etc. I have been very leary this time around.

So in I trotted this morning and will for the next 2 days as well. I only cover the first couple of hours and another teacher covers the rest of the day.

I am tired but not as tired as my sister who is really dragging after the Iron infusion today. Say a prayer for her if you are so inclined. The place she went is a place we are all too familar with as my Dad did most of his Chemo there as well.

Well I didn't want to wake her up so I am sitting at the library typing this entry and I see by my "Session information clock" that my time will be over soon...

Be Back Soon

Alive but computerless!

2007-07-21T16:48:00.000-04:00

I am alive...just computerless at the moment. I am a little lost without it but I can survive...

Work has been busy but very productive...church has been awesome...

I have discovered a new bond with a friend. She reminds me of myself when I was searching for God. She has started asking me lots of questions about why I believe what I believe given everything I have been through in my life.

I have been very candid with her. More candid than I have ever been with someone new in my life. This is a new concept for me.

One of my employees who is a strong believer has come to me several times this week asking for spiritual advice. This is also new territory for me...usually I am the seeker not the giver.

See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil

2007-07-10T22:03:00.001-04:00

My Mother did teach me one thing I remember very vividly:

If you don't have anything nice to say...
Don't say anything at all!

Apparently not everyone's Mom taught them this phrase.

At times I wonder if my Mom remembers this as well.

This is one of those old standards along the lines of...
Put on clean underwear every morning
and
Don't actually sit down on public toilet seats...just hover.

Are kids these days taught these things?

I know someone a mere 10 years younger than myself who I
am pretty sure missed these life lessons.

Oh Mommy dearest....

2007-07-09T20:29:00.000-04:00

If you have read this blog for very long you will know that I am not a Pink Feather Boa type of girl.

You will also know that I live in my Mother's house and she does not.

She made an appearance at the humble home today while I was gone.

Every time she comes somehow my bed gets filled with things.

Today I came home to find a Pink Feather Boa wrapped around a hat, a trash can, a newspaper and a lampshade all on my bed. They had moved a file cabinet out of my bedroom and replaced it with an end table. I knew they were coming and had prepared my room the best I could but somehow these things HAD to be placed on my bed.

THEN she had enough nerve to reprimand me for not having a dresser or Chest of Drawers in my bedroom yet! I explained that it was buried in the garage and I couldn't get to either of them.

She said if I got rid of the Pepsi boxes (which I was saving for a Fort at work) I would have enough room for the stuff in the garage to come in the house.

There are 7 boxes. Total.

It is a full one car garage.

Hmmmmmm.

I don't think so.

I did manage to stop short of telling her to get her crap out of the house so I can see the house uncluttered before I buy it!

I am buying it...just not fast enough for her.

Annoyed

2007-07-07T21:36:00.000-04:00

I have been generally annoyed the last few days. I am not sure what the deal is...but a few things I know have contributed to my mood...

I can't get my scooter started. Yes it has gas , the battery is charged and I have checked all the filters etc which is about as far as I can go without taking the chance at seriously messing it up. My knuckles are sore from tinkering with it today.

The fireworks going off until 2 in the morning are wearing on my very last nerve. My cat is not thrilled with them either. Those screaming bottle rockets are about to get shoved somewhere the sun doesn't shine.

Sometimes working with a group of women can be wonderful. They can be the most supportive and caring people you will ever meet. Sometimes they only look out for themselves and can be the whiniest, nasty, caddy people you can ever meet. The whole "cycle" at the same time thing can really get UGLY.

Sometimes facing a problem can be heart wrenching.

I don't want to do that which I know I must do.

Too much time on your hands?

2007-07-06T21:52:00.000-04:00

I don't care if it is real paint on the cat....

or if someone used a tool online to create these pictures....

Someone has WAY TOO MUCH TIME on their hands!

Independence Day

2007-07-04T14:49:00.001-04:00

Regardless of my stance on the war, my political views, my thoughts of our current elected officials or anything else I must be thankful to the men and women who choose to put their lives on the line everyday because they enlisted in fight to provide me with the freedoms I enjoy today.

A very interesting dissection can be found here.

Here it is in part: (Hopefully you can see it)

I Pledge Allegiance	I Promise to be faithful and true (Promise my loyalty)
to the flag	to the emblem that stands for and represents
of the United States	all 50 states, each of them individual, and individually represented on the flag
of America	yet formed into a UNION of one Nation.
and to the Republic	And I also pledge my loyalty to the Government that is itself a Republic, a form of government where the PEOPLE are sovereign,
for which it stands,	this government also being represented by the Flag to which I promise loyalty.
one Nation under God,	These 50 individual states are united as a single Republic under the Divine providence of God, "our most powerful resource" (according to the words of President Eisenhower)
Indivisible,	and can not be separated. (This part of the original version of the pledge was written just 50 years after the beginning of the Civil War and demonstrates the unity sought in the years after that divisive period in our history)
with Liberty	The people of this Nation being afforded the freedom to pursue "life, liberty, and happiness",
and Justice	And each person entitled to be treated justly, fairly, and according to proper law and principle,
for All.	And these principles afforded to EVERY AMERICAN, regardless of race, religion, color, creed, or any other criteria. Just as the flag represents 50 individual states that can not be divided or separated, this Nation represents millions of people who can not be separated or divided.

Thus it is that when you Pledge Allegiance to the United States Flag, You:

*Promise your loyalty to the Flag itself.
*Promise your loyalty to your own and the other 49 States.
*Promise your loyalty to the Government that unites us all,
Recognizing that we are ONE Nation under God,
That we can not or should not be divided or alone,
And understanding the right to Liberty and Justice belongs to ALL of us.

Post # 600

2007-07-02T20:33:00.000-04:00

It has been just over 5 years since I have had a drink.

I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant about 2 weeks after a Bachelorette party for a friend..where I had been drinking. That was the twins. I lost them a month later and 7 weeks later. Of course I blamed the drinks I had for the reason I miscarried them. Now I know better but then it was different.

I also have always had a problem with stopping at 1 or 2 drinks...therefore I just don't drink. I used to drink 2 entire bottles of cheap wine without really phasing me much. It usually took the better part of a fifth of anything to have any effect. But I never really stopped until a friend took me home or I passed out.

Therefore I just don't drink.

Well until today.

On my way home I stopped to get a gallon of milk and saw those cute little bottles of White Russians.

I bought a 4 pack.

I will not be purchasing anymore. Nothing has changed. I was well through the third bottle before I stopped to think about it.

But hey it is my 600th post today so why not celebrate and thin the blood a little while I am at it!

Be warned...Whining coming

2007-07-01T19:36:00.000-04:00

After tying almost 300 balloon yesterday and then helping my little clown prodigies turn them into animals I could care less at this point if I ever see another balloon EVER again.

My fingers hurt.

My uterus hurts. Yes you guessed it PMS has struck and I am feeling evil today.

This however did bring a slight smile to my face:

13 things that PMS stands for:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

As always the little APS thing has made this an interesting weekend.

Look in a mirror before you leave the house!

2007-06-29T21:25:00.001-04:00

OK I am going to get on my little soapbox for a moment and comment on some hideous things I have seen recently.

1. Check your "rear view" mirror before you leave the house. I don't want to see crack especially if it is attached to a tool belt. And absolutely NO crack with Cottage Cheese dimples in it!

2. I am a firm believer in the theory that anything spandex should not be produced or made in certain sizes.

3. If you can't breathe while buttoning your pants to put them on...it really isn't going to get THAT much better once "they get stretched out"

4. Muffin top. Don't do it. I have done it on accident on occasion but once you see yourself you'll understand why people tell you NOT to do it.

5. And for the men out there...If your jeans make you look like this guy (below) does in his jeans we are NOT turned on! Somethings are better left to the imagination or not thought of at all.

6. If your cleavage is so high that you have a serious risk of suffocation should you lean too far forward then it is time to let those babies breathe a little
.
7. Just do everyone a favor and look in the mirror before you leave the house.

Just funny

2007-06-28T19:54:00.000-04:00

So I typed "Just funny" into my handy dandy Google search engine and clicked on the images link.

I picked the ones that made me chuckle to post here...

Enjoy!

A bittersweet day

2007-06-26T21:21:00.001-04:00

As I have posted before my Dad was my Superman. Today was the 8 year mark since he passed away. Even all these years later, on this day, I can look at the clock and tell you what I was doing at that exact time on THE day. I know my Mom is happy with Beau. My Dad would want her to be taken care of... it is just still hard to swallow at times.

The other part of my day has me quite excited! I went to the license branch today and went inside expecting a line. I walked up to the counter directly and they sent me to take my test. I took the test AND renewed my plates for the car and was out the door in less than 20 minutes!

Yes you read that correctly 20 stinking minutes.... I think it must be a record of some sort... at least for me anyway!

Anyway back to this test. That's right. I passed! I am now an official permit carrying motorcycle wannabe chick! Now let the REAL shopping begin for a motorcycle!

And yes Patty... I am keeping the car for when the weather gets crummy. And yes I will wear a full face helmet with the wind guard... Any more concerns out there?

The crazy I call family

2007-06-24T21:35:00.000-04:00

So my presence was required at the land up north for the birthday party of Beau...the man my Mom married last September.

I did not go out on the jet ski because I was the only person present with the knowledge and/or skills to drive the jet ski. Therefore I would have been responsible for taking everyone else on the rides they would have wanted. Not usually a problem BUT there are two boys in this family that I do not trust and would not want to be stuck in the middle of the lake with them.
One of the step sisters drives me nuts. She has never uttered the words Thank You but she orders everyone around down to the food we will serve her because she has MD and is in a wheelchair. Apparently she was this way before the wheelchair but now she milks it for all it is worth.
She even drove back to the house because we didn't give her enough chocolate cake in her take home package, even though she had 4 pieces of white and 4 pieces of chocolate. She didn't get any more.
Beau opened a card from Mom and Mom was honestly shocked. She addressed it and signed the card but has no memory of the card at all. She says it might be from his birthday last year....and it happened to be on the table with the other cards.... I wish she would talk to a doctor about this since HIPPA has our hands tied.
Mom also tried giving away one of my favorite stuffed animals. The one my grandparents got me when I was in the hospital once. BUT NO...she insists that a neighbor bought it at a garage sale for her last weekend. This would be the equivalent of giving away your childhood blankie...(yes I know, sis, but it wasn't my fault!).

I am ready for sleep and off to work this week. I have more to share about the weekend but that is for another day.

Like we need another thing to worry about!

2007-06-23T18:34:00.000-04:00

Burger King.

What were you thinking?

Many women already have hormonal problems with age and well.... WE JUST DO! OK!

Like I didn't have enough to worry about that now I watch which foods I eat out of fear of growing a mustache!

Yes I know it is a joke but I do still find the dancing guy a little creepy!

Choices???

2007-06-23T13:30:00.001-04:00

So I have a choice to make. I have been studying the handbook for my motorcycle permit and I think I am ready for the written test. I am indeed going to be upgrading to a faster one with the requirement of an actual motorcycle license.

I have two bikes/scooters/motorcycles that I really like and are within my price range.

Of course the more "real" looking one appeals to my other side, the alter ego side, the one who wants to have fun, the one that still remembers what it was like to be a "bad girl".

Of course this one appeals to my grown up side. The "you are a child of God" and director of a daycare side. The you must look professional showing up to work on this thing side.

All I know is that I can't get mine to hold a charge and it is killing me to not be out on the road with the wind in my face!

A present for one of my stafff

2007-06-21T21:39:00.000-04:00

I seriously want to get this shirt for one of my employees. On a small staff of 9 she is the one who constantly "stirs the pot"...my little nonconformist....she is the one I walk by a room and I hear her bad mouthing X, Y OR Z...well or me.

I know she is looking for another job and has had interviews. I would rather she quit than be fired BUT the documentation is piling up on her and she is bringing moral down... hugely.

It is all happy go lucky until she walks in the building and starts complaining. Within a matter of an hour she usually has started enough crap that at least 2 or 3 people are snapping at each other.

If she survives tomorrow it will be a miracle.

On a happier note...I have given up on the new car idea and I am looking at motorcycles while I prepare for my Motorcycle Permit Test.

I know I know... yes I will always wear a helmet. BUT I am ready for some fun!

One of those days...sigh

2007-06-19T22:28:00.000-04:00

At work I already had meetings scheduled that I had to reschedule and work around as one of our "state ladies" popped in for a surprise visit. I had everything in order it was just an inconvenience today. I had board members crawling around all ready as they are preparing for an event at the church AND I had 2 staff out because of vacation and DR. appts.

Being pulled in 4 different directions isn't always fun.

Tomorrow we will hopefully have a calmer day, employees returning to work and all will be well at the ol' job. WELL....maybe I will just hope for an "OK" day as it IS daycare after all.

Is it the end yet?

2007-06-17T22:46:00.000-04:00

Big Red dropped off another load of stuff tonight. At first I thought he was bringing things a few pieces at a time just so he could see me as he has a habit of standing around and wanting to converse with me.

Then I realized it is taking him THAT long to clean up the house and sort through things. If you will remember this post.

Tonight he brought over among other things a trunk. I glanced through it quickly and found a few folders of papers from college, a blanket, rocks (I have no idea what they are from but I must have thought them worthy of saving at some point) and my senior booklet.

This booklet is not my yearbook or senior book that you order but something we as a class made.

Every student in our Senior English Composition class had to write a few distinct stories to include. We were given a few suggestions such as "Senioritis", "What I'd like to forget...", "My favorite memory from High School", "My Last Will and Testament" and "How to survive..."

I have enjoyed spending the last hour or so reading through these. It has been a nice trip down memory lane. I am sure we didn't have exclusive rights on all the STUPID things we did. Growing up in the country we had many stories of Railroad Track jumping, T P ing, forking, skipping school to go out on the lake etc.

BUT......I am so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I wouldn't go back to High School for any amount of money. Sure you could argue the lack of responsibly, the chance to start over and many other things but I wouldn't be the person I am today without MY life experiences.

APS- the best explanation I've heard yet

2007-06-16T16:59:00.000-04:00

This is by far the best explanation I've heard yet. It is easier to understand than all the doctor lingo I usually hear.

It is just over 6 minutes but well worth the time to understand this disease.

Grandpa would have loved it!

2007-06-15T22:54:00.000-04:00

So I watched the final episode of The Price is Right with Bob Barker as the host. I know and I am not even in my 60's yet.

I wrote of one Grandpa yesterday that watched Billy Graham fervently and today I watched the final episode of a show that the other Grandpa scheduled his day around.

You see I spent a great deal of time with these Grandparents. Every summer I would spend at least 2 or 3 weeks at their house. This is where I learned how to drive a riding lawnmower, pick raspberries, shuck corn, "snap" green beans and appreciate nature and the outdoors at dusk as well. A typical day would entail becoming a "mall walker" before the stores opened for the day, eating out at Richard's restaurant then returning home to do a few chores like cleaning and "fetching the whatchamacallit from the upstairs". I might be sent out to get the mail or mow the lawn but none of these activities could ever interrupt "The Price is Right".

Grandpa could, without fail, nail ever price requested and bid successfully on the showcases. He was usually Very VERY close. I always told him that when I got my driving license we would drive to the studio and he could play...and meet Bob Barker.

Of course that never happened but the dreams we had.....

He would have loved the big send off of Bob Barker because it was simply a game show with an extra "I love everyone" right before his closing tag line about controlling the pet population by spaying and neutering your pets.

Grandpa would have loved it.

Ruth Graham

2007-06-14T20:59:00.000-04:00

No matter what your stance on which religion is "right" one has to admit that we lost a very Godly woman today.

According to the AP Ruth Graham wife of Billy Graham died this afternoon at the age of 87.

I find it amazing that in the midst of their grief they are talking of how they look forward to seeing her in heaven.

Yes I understand this in principle but within hours of her passing they are saying this?.... That is an incredibly deep faith. Maybe it comes with age or wisdom or a longer walk with God...(or great press agents) but I know when I lose someone I am angry at first... it takes several days for the heaven part to kick in inside my mind.

I am just amazed once again by all that God can do with one person or one couple who are devoted to God with their whole hearts.

I remember as a child my Grandpa would watch the crusades on TV...he never sent money in that I know of but I watched as he wept while he was praying and watching people give their hearts to God on TV. This was foreign to me as a child but now I understand.

Just a thought rattling around in my brain.

The weekend in a nutshell

2007-06-10T20:52:00.000-04:00

So I spent the day on Saturday up in the great north attending a whole town type garage sale. There were about 100 sales and I think I was at about 90 of them...
with my Mom.

Sigh.

I did however clean up for the daycare. I think I bought every piece of Little Tykes equipment I could find.
I bought a slide, a stove, a ride on dump truck, a baby care set with a changing table and swing, a rocker, a baby cradle, a ride on tractor with a tow behind trailer, a desk toy and a bulletin board.

I also picked up some orange cones, a few baby toys, a Boggle Jr. game, a bag of dress up clothes, puzzles, hard dress up hats (firefighter etc) and a walker for the baby room. Not bad for only about $41.00.

The haul of goodies made it worth spending the day with Mom when she's not firing on all cylinders...you know when she forgets stuff and complains all. day. long.

We had a very powerful sermon today at church. Actually it was more of a monologue. One of the Pastors who doesn't normally speak on Sundays stood and gave a dramatic presentation of the Sermon on the Mount. I can't even begin to do it justice here so I will not attempt it. I can say he stood at the front and quoted the entire chapter word for word with props and pauses.

Wow.

I didn't get the lawn mowed or much laundry done. The next free evening I have is Thursday and I probably will be cited by the city for a stand or two of grass being too long. I wish I knew a neighborhood kid I could pay $5 bucks to mow it just this once. Hey $5.00 is a deal for as little as the yard is!

I'll have to do laundry at some point this week or by Weds. I won't be able to attend work in anything but PJ's!

I might as well go throw a load in now...

Ta Ta

The Princess Bride is the best!

2007-06-09T18:32:00.000-04:00

I love this movie! I think hands down this is my favorite movie ever!
The Battle of Wits!

The Wedding!

Just thought I would share...

More later!

The games are over....for now.

2007-06-05T20:23:00.000-04:00

The car search is over for now...sigh. I waved Bye Bye as I could not get the deal I wanted. They did finally offer to pay off my car completely but...I got the actual payoff amount (from my bank) and the dealer had "inadvertently" added almost $300 in an overage.

Hmmmmmm...

They found out that my Credit Union would only finance the NADA value of the car and decided if I wanted the car I would have to go back up to 11.25% interest rate to be financed through them...well maybe they could get 10.25%....

Hmmmmmmmm.......

Then they started criticizing the credit union I work with. The CU that has walked me through other loans successfully... my student loans...my line of credit for surviving the divorce... helped guide me through "finances 101" after my Dad passed away.

And he had the nerve to tell me they weren't looking out for me like their dealership was?!!?

These people I have know less than 3 days were taking care of me better than the people who have known me by name and account numbers for the last 17 years? The people who pull my account up as I approach the window because they recognize me... The people who teared up at the window when they heard of a miscarriage... The people who helped me protect my accounts and assets before I filed for divorce so that Big Red couldn't take advantage of me....

I don't think the people at the dealership had my best interests in mind like my Credit Union does. I know some of you may think I am exaggerating but this truly is how my CU treats my family and I. Am I right sis?

The dealership was kind enough..cough cough...to give me back the deposit check and tell me I could change my mind at any time...or talk my credit union into "working with such a valued member" to get a higher loan amount...but the car is not worth $$ the loan amount...

I should have stuck with my gut instinct to stay away from this particular dealership.

Lesson learned.

I started some research again and discovered I can buy a 2006/2007 car for about the same payment because the loan time is longer.

Who knows.......All I know is I am done looking this week.

The itch for a new car....

2007-06-04T20:00:00.000-04:00

So the dealership called today again...they sweetened the deal.

You see the itch comes from a few issues:

1. I didn't really pick out the car I currently own. It was purchased a month or so before the wedding and it was deemed the "family car". This was the 4 door soon-to-be-mom-mobile. This was the car we purchased that would be used to transport the children when we decided to have them. The thing that burns is that I really believe he never intended on having children with me. So why this car?

2. I am newly divorced and I need to rebuild some of my credit. No matter how good your credit was before a divorce it always seems to take it's toll on the score. So the car will be nicer and in better condition than what I own. My payments won't be too much higher than what I pay now (providing the deal goes through as planned). And I will be rebuilding the credit in my new/old name.

3. I could use a little fun right now. Going from the family car to a sporty VW Bug will provide some fun and will lift the self esteem a little.

4. If this car doesn't work out I can guarantee you that I will have a newer more reliable car within a month or so. It may not be a Bug but it will not need as much work as mine.

I did have the manly man who understands these kinds of cars that I know take it for a test drive and kick the tires and such. I got the thumbs up from him.

Only time will tell....

Let the games begin!

2007-06-03T16:07:00.000-04:00

So I wasted a few gallons of that precious commodity we call gas to drive around to a car lot or two searching for the next One4JC vehicle.

I feel like I am getting hosed because they see me walk on the lot and play rock paper scissors to see who gets to take a crack at me.

I was chased down on 2 different lots as they tried to talk to me but on the 3rd lot my escape route was blocked by an oncoming car.

Crap!

I found a car that I love at this lot. I found a black bug in my price range with everything except the moon roof. He, the dealer who caught me, did talk me into a test drive.

Next thing I know he has whisked me into the showroom to talk prices, relieved of my keys to appraise the "trade-in" and pulled out paperwork to start the financing process.

I humored him to see what he could offer me.

Just because I am a female doesn't mean I am totally ignorant about the price of cars, trade in values and other testosterone laden things.

He came back with a payment of $350.00/month at 11.25% interest rate for an $8500.00 car!

I laughed at him and asked for my keys back.

He started back tracking and negotiating. I did get the loan lengthened, my trade-in value upped and the interest rate down to 7.5%. However it is still out of my price range. I told him I needed to have someone come look at the car. He offered me a phone. I said I needed to crunch numbers and pray about it and he still tried to get me to put a refundable deposit down on the car. I didn't.

We left it that he will call me Monday morning and I will work on my own financing and person to look at the car. However I do not like the pressure he tried to use. He wanted me sign the paperwork and drive away with the car within an hour of the first test drive.

I don't think so.

The randomness I call my life

2007-05-31T19:45:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid I loved to blow the tops off dandelions after they had turned white and fuzzy. I never understood the look on my Dad's face the first time he saw me do it and asked/screamed/yelled for me to never ever ever do that again. Now that I have my own yard to mow. I understand.

By the way just how fast can a dandelion grow in a 24 hour period?

The best definition of Insanity I have ever heard is this: Continuing to do the same thing the same way and expecting different results.

I love Birkenstock sandals... However I can rarely afford them...they MUST be on sale for me to purchase a pair.

I have known way too many friends on this list....well and a few relatives.

I am pretty close to buying a different car. I just need to line up the financing with the credit union.

I bought a fish for the tank at work today. Very hardy, hard to kill fish for the daycare tank.

I have one employee that I am considering running off this image and attaching it to the write up she will receive this week.

It highlights the top 5 infractions this week. Big infractions. Policy violating the handbook type infractions.

My dad used to use this expression and most of the time the thought of it sends chills up my spine. It is however very fitting for the situation she has placed herself in.

Lessons learned at a laundromat.

2007-05-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

So because my "laundry person" at work was sick at the end of last week I had to take the bag 'o quarters to the laundromat. If you read the previous posts you will note that I have been a little under the weather.

Today is the first day I left the house for the 3 day weekend as I have slept for most of those other 2 days.

So it was easier to take the quarters to the multi machine facility for 1 1/2 hours than to spend the entire day doing laundry here at the house.

It has easily been 3 or more years since I have been to a laundromat...Oh how things have changed!

1. Keep your quarters in your eyesight at all times. I am pretty sure at least one of the guys was homeless. He sat in front of the machines and watched the laundry tumble yet I never saw him actually touch anything. He did walk around occasionally and look for spare change.

2. If one drops on the floor forget about it! The children are swarming around looking for change for the vending machines. I did see most of the parents give them a quarter or two but 1 or 2 was never enough according to the children.

3. Many different languages are spoken at a laundromat. Almost all of the children were bilingual. Even if you hear the words Mickey Mouse that doesn't mean you are allowed to smile or look like you understood EVEN if you are the one with the Mickey Mouse Item.

4. In the movies and TV shows where people are all happy and talkative... Yeah. Doesn't happen. I did not see one person grab a bottle of pop and start a dance line while singing in the building on the way to the streets to continue the "parade".

5. One has to take a car to the laundromat. No scooter in the world will hold 3+ loads of laundry.

6. Those great romances that are born out of conversations while folding your delicates at the counter? Yeah. Not going to happen. The only guys I saw where either missing MOST of their teeth (and the one or two left were already black) OR they were the smart ones who dropped off the laundry for the Pay By the Pound method. Oh wait there was one guy who had been dragged there by his wife...

7. If you walk away from a machine that you just took clean hot laundry out of to go get the wet laundry to REFILL the machine... don't expect it to be available when you turn back around.

8. I think my "laundry person" deserves a bonus.